Nostalgia... That sweet poison everyone seems to drink every once in a while.
And I had my fill. XD
I never new staying at home on a weekday can be so stress releiving. All i did was slouch on a sofa, have a few bags of chips beside me, hold the TV remote control, and mindlessly surf along the channels. And guess what I ended up with? Two full hours of clay animated cartoons and a few episodes of "Care Bares". XD
My last blog update was when? o_O
I've been trying to squeeze time to get back here and collect my thoughts. I landed a bit late I think.
Having been through a lot of deep sh*tty situations, I finally land back and think of what I've been doing for the past couple of weeks. I've been abusing my self to a point that I almost dropped dead on a curb. Having been deprived of proper sleep and rest, I resort to a few things where I gained a lot of very well said comments from friends.
The Rubik's Cube.
Despite the fact that I'm wallowing in my stirred up murky watered fish tank, trying to wash my thoughts out (which is a fact that I am mot enjoying =_=), I'm still troubled by my previous actions. Which resulted to me picking up this contraption called the Rubik's Cube.
Six sides, six colors, nine pannels a side. Turn each and every side, flip, rotate, switch and swatch the colors. But did you ever wonder? Why you could fix it or why you can't? The thing is, it has a pattern. It has this thing that you should follow. I'm not going to refer to it as a rule. Rather, let's call it a method. A type of counting and manner of how you hold it.
Odd? Its what I've been lacking. My grasp of things hasn't been that firm. Even my methods are a bit astray. It's just not working for me. And I have no idea why I'm being so unstable. And I haven't been myself lately. Insane? Nope. Just deranged. Too much to think about. Too many to consider.
You'll either make it better or make it worse.
When you're asked a simple question, you sometimes give a complex answer. Sometimes you even lead them to falcity. Most of the times you resort to silence, and not telling.
We know that telling the truth will do good. We know that it will help benefit a cause. But sometimes the truth just isn't the right thing to say. The truth hurts those we care for. When we least expect it to hurt them. The more it hurts them. And the more we realize that we shouldn't have said anything. We shouldn't have said the truth.
Go, young grasshopper, Try out your wings!
"You already left your comfort zone, to what end? It's like leaving home for a journey. You leave behind the safety and security of your abode, but in exchange, you can live out new experiences and meet new people.You've already walked out the door. Don't waste time standing in front of your porch. Do something. You already made the first step of your journey, the first step outside your 'home'. Now, what are you going to do? Wait, don't answer yet. Think. Think... while I sleep... ^_^" -- Joe Gamer
Well, he said everything all right. =_= The only thing left to do now is whether to take the trip, try out the wings and see a whole new world, or stay at home and slouch in that comforting beanie bag.
More options, more problems. This is what happens when you don't act like yourself.
I've never had conversations that lasted for days. In this case, it lasted for a few weeks. I talked to a lot of people and heard a lot of things. It included the analogy above. Funny, I never saw it that way. It might not make sense but if you ask me. It gave me a clear view on how to think straight. Well, how to think straight again, at the least.
Okay, so the past few days were so damn long, tiring, and slow. maybe that's the reason I felt low at some point. Low, in a sense that I want to take time off from everything. Time to think back and review what I've been doing for the past year. I know I should've done this before this year started. But it was just now that it hit me. Am I doing things because I really want to do them?
