buhay delata

I need a new hobby or something...

2011-08-12T19:18:00.001+08:00

Now Playing: To Me - Rainbow

So I just got through with an untimely acoustic gig that was called in a little too short noticed. Now I'm thinking of doing some stuff for the weekend either as a reward for a long tiresome weekend or something to keep me preoccupied. I have a lot of stuff to finish anyway and what better time to do them but during the weekends.

So I'm kinda debating on what to do this weekend.

Things I'm considering of doing either alone or with Teh Wife's company:

Watch Captain America (if it's still in cinemas)
Watch all the seasons of The Big Bang Theory
Watch all the seasons of Avatar: The Last Airbender
Go to Teriyaki Boy's Matsuri Event at Eastwood

Things I still need to do regardless:

Learn the bass lines for the following songs for a session jam

After The Rain by Nelson
All She Wrote by Firehouse
Fire by Jimi Hendrix
La Grange by ZZ Top
You Shook Me All Night Long by ACDC

2. Make designs for a real estate webpage
3. Sort up some stuff I need to throw away

If all else fails... I'll just hibernate. =..=

To 28! And to things I need to accomplish before I hit 30!

2011-07-18T23:24:00.001+08:00

Now Playing: Jet Coaster Love - KARA

So blog, we meet again…

My last entry was, ages ago (a year actually). So now I post an untimely update… Although this one is a bit well timed as today is somewhat special. Why? Because I will be posting two-years-worth of things that I need to accomplish before I hit 30!

So yeah, today, I just turned 28. And as much as I have the uncanny knack to be unreasonable and self-righteously hard-headed, I will leave all of those because an article on cracked gave 5 reasons life is better after age 30. And that inspired me to concoct a bucket list of things I need to achieve before I hit 30. And I have 2 years to do all of them!

This list may come a little short and can be achieved in a matter of days, but my innate lack of initiative and low self-esteem guarantees that these items be ignored faster than they could be written down. So for posterity’s sake, I will list the first few ones that I can think of which I could say, provide the most returns for the effort.

1. Lose weight. This comes at top priority. Not because I’m health conscious but because I’m more and more disturbed about looking like a pot belly pig the more I see myself in the mirror. I know, that was a horrifying way to describe myself and you’re already probably picturing me way after reading this. But believe me when I say that I dread it more and deal with it each time I get up to dress up for work. (Of course that’s after I do all my morning rituals.) Another reason is because people’s metabolism rate slows down after age 30. So it’s even more disturbing to think that if I don’t do anything to lose weight in the next 2 years, I’ll end up as a behemoth when I hit 30! Not to mention I have that slap-bet with James that should take place this coming November. Details on that will be posted after the actual slap-judging.

2. Get a six-pack. No not those beer cans. Heck I can’t even hold my alcohol… I practically suck at drinking any kind of alcoholic beverage. Anyway, this comes immediately after losing weight. Why, because I want to have a good set of pecks for whenever I have the guts to take my shirt off (and most especially during the summer season). Well, ever since The Wife and I have been together, and during the times when her side of the family decides to head out for a swimming trip, I always feel disgusted at my pot belly. Imagine a dude, at his mid-20’s sporting a gut like he’s drinking beer all the time? I dunno how other guys do it but I’ve known people who drink like there’s no tomorrow but they don’t have any semblance of gut protruding like a mono-boob with inverted nipples. I stand at awe at the sight of men my age that are gutless… And from then on I swore, the tables will be turned when I hit 30. I will sport pecks and will stand proud whenever I take my shirt off in public! *evil laugh*

3. Hold my alcohol. Okay… This might not be the right place for this one because the first two is about losing weight. But why do I need to learn to hold my alcohol? For one, alcohol has been a well-recognized vehicle for socializing and interacting with peers or people you’ve just met. I feel I’m missing a lot of things life has to offer because… IT ONLY TAKES A BOTTLE OF LIGHT BEER BEFORE SOMEONE CAN USE ME AS A MOP TO CLEAN UP AFTER A BOOZE NIGHT. Really… Typing that made me feel even more pathetic. And because I can’t hold my alcohol, I’ve turned down a lot of critical booze nights that could have helped improved my social standing. Yes, being able to drink a lot CAN increase your social standing. If beer or alcohol increased any stats in real life, I swear it could have been +charm, +charisma or +diplomacy. (Has anyone heard of a drunk employee get to convince his drunk boss for a raise?) Anyway, to some extent, I need to learn to hold my volume of alcohol...

4. Go back to jogging/running. And now I go back to being retarded. After trying to lose weight, and training for alcohol, I attempt yet another retarded activity to include in my daily life. And that is to jog/run. Seriously, why do people even need to do this? If you can go from point A to point be just by walking, why do you need to speed it up?! Doesn’t that just add more stress on the feat? Sure, you’ll get there faster, but walking requires less strain right? But in all honesty, I have been running since August last year until September. I lost *cough*some*cough* weight but was easily gained back when I moved to my new work. Of course, free food is always welcome.

5. Grow my hair longer. I’ve actually achieved my all-time longest hair length. It was almost 7 inches from root to tip after getting completely shaved bald. I plan to grow it longer. Thought The Wife has already expressed her objection on this, I still plan to grow my hair regardless. (Or unless, required by work to actually get a haircut.) But I will attempt to grow my hair longer than I have ever in hopes of accomplishing the next item in my bucket list.

6. Get dread locks. Yes, this has been an on-going debate with The Wife. She knows that the only reason I am growing my hair is to get dread locks. She detests it with a burning passion. According to her, dread locks are, dirty, unclean, untidy, dumb, stupid, irritating, annoying, stink, and causes itching. (I seriously have no idea what she meant by it causing itching). She hates the idea of me getting dread locks with a burning passion. She’s even gone as far as declaring that I will have to sleep on the floor if I do finally get my long overdue dreads. And do I look like a person who’d care sleeping on the floor? No. I’ll be sporting dread locks so I might as well enjoy looking and living like a hobo as long as I have them.

7. Go to Enchanted Kingdom or any theme park. Sue me. Despite the fact that I have lived really near the place, I have never, as in NEVER set foot on its pavement. I know this sounds really retarded (and will only get worse as I expound) but I have never, for the life of me, even had the slightest motivation to just go there and do whatever it is that people do there. Of course I expect fun, some gut-wrenching, tummy-turning, vomit-inducing fun but how can any man pass on the opportunity to scream like a pants less cheerleader and get away with it?! The closest I got to it was while playing Amnesia: The Dark Descent and I was seriously trying not to flinch but the game managed to cut off my balls and leave me screaming like (for lack of better terminologies) a pants less cheer leader. So yeah, I should try to go to EK and just enjoy myself.

8. Learn to drive / Get a driver’s license. Despite the fact that I don’t own a car, I still want to learn to drive a motorized vehicle. I believe this is a necessary survival skill in time for impending doom or the zombie apocalypse. Or maybe just so I have a valid excuse to borrow someone else’s car when they’re not using it. (Yes friends who own cars, trucks, vans, bikes and what nots, this is an obvious hint for you all). But seriously, there are times when I just hate commuting. Not because of the traffic, or the rush, or the rage-driven bus drivers on the highway, or the jeepney drivers who just suddenly pulls over on the middle of the road. But because of times when its better to drive to a place instead of commuting. Like family outings, gatherings, night outs *snickers*night outs*snickers*. Because driving to those destinations are just less hassle instead of commuting. Plus you hold your own time. A for the driver’s license… Those things are shiny and pretty and would match my new wallet! X3

9. Have a routine exercise program. No, not the physical type. If there’s anything I want to prove, its that I’ll slim down without doing anything intensely physical. (Does this nullify the first two things I just posted on my bucket list? o_O I hope not.) Anyway, its more for my fingers. No, I don’t even mean in a kinky way. I just need to have a steady working finger exercise training regimen. For what you ask? For the next item on my bucket list.

10. Be better at playing bass. And yes, this is the next thing I need to achieve immediately after getting a six-pack and holding my alcohol. Why? Because its awesome to be able to play bass like a god. Imagine, I can play the bass, I look good playing the bass and I can get piss drunk after playing the bass. Isn’t that something?! But seriously, I’ve been playing guitars since I was in 4th grade. I picked up the bass when I moved to College. I got serious on the bass when bb invited me to play for them. So the next logical step is to get better at playing the damn thing. Better like MASAKI better. Or John Myung better. Or… Leland Sklar better! Or just be better than I am now. I just need to get to the next notch.

11. Make / design websites. I’ve just recently finished a web development course from Phoenix One. And I’ve yet to get a project website other than the one I’m making for the guild I belong to. It would be nice if I can do some more projects and put this newly acquired skill to use. And hopefully it doesn’t conflict with work. Or maybe I could actually use these projects to look like I’m busy at work but actually doing something completely irrelevant to work. This might actually work.

12. Get back to writing / drawing. This might be one of the most unreasonable thing I can think of. But as a geek, who loves any and all things that inspire geekiness. I have always thought of papering a full length graphic novel which would later be called a copy, imitation or unoriginal by fellow geeks because let’s face it, every anime, manga, drama or movie script that has been written has been played or told in various ways that you’ll later realize similarities with a classic or from a different author. But still this thing is one of the things I hold the most frustration in because it challenges me to be creative. Or I could just be laze and make doodles that make fun of things that depress other people. So yeah, comics are cool and I want to make them too!

12 things to accomplish in two years. Two years is too long to just limit to these items. But given my nature to cheat, skip and forget about things I’ve said, I give myself a little over a few weeks before I give up on any of these things. Not very assuring right? Still, its a fun way of attempting to do things I’m sure I can’t do. So here’s to these items on the bucket list, and more to come!

Another "Happy Birthday Mom =]" Entry

2010-06-05T04:56:00.001+08:00

Now Playing: (Nothing)

Its kind of nice to not have anything in mind after a few weeks of being stressed mentally because of work and life in general. Though I know I still have it better compared to some... Poor unfortunate souls. But that's for a different entry. LOL!

For now, since I'll be busy despite today being a weekend, this here post's for my late mom. And I'll make sure to raise her a candle before the day ends. =]

There are just days when I just wish you're still with us Maw... At least we get a lot of lulz despite days being shitty as hell...

I'll just laugh this one out -- For now...

2010-03-30T20:00:00.002+08:00

Now Playing: New Perspective - Panic! At the Disco

When irony spells itself right in front of you? What do you do?

I just got back from doing field work and of course the day wouldn't be complete without some news. Well... Not really news but information. Which of course will be defined or identified in a matter of... Who knows? Months? Weeks? Or even just days.

The day had already started shady. Despite the fact that the sun already reeled its bright head to bathe everything in its radiance. LOL! Funny, I've been using that line a lot lately. Though it actually is consistent. The same way 'consistent' can also be defined in various manners from where I currently am. But I guess it won't serve me any purpose if I try to be too revealing in this entry. So I might as well not. Summary idea would be 'bad'. Definitely bad.

Tonight I'm to reflect on a matter of things of great issue right now... Not really a life and death situation but as I started this entry, its all about 'irony'. And I was thinking of how constructive I was supposed to write about a recent... 'scenario' I've been drawing that caused people to react. That may be for another day. For now, I'm only blabbering like this to keep what's left of my sanity.

So again I ask, what do you do when irony spells itself right in front of you? Well... I'll just laugh this one out. For now... Just to be sane...

When I was still a kid -- How I got into music

2010-03-29T17:43:00.005+08:00

Now Playing: This Too Shall Pass - OK Go!

The first ever guitar that I picked up to learn and play music was an Ibanez Roadstar II. A 1980's model that my dad kept on playing in their gigs. You could say it was what inspired me to follow my dad's footsteps. And because of that, we had some father-and-son arguments about my and his guitar playing style.

As I grew up I developed a liking towards the lower registers and picked up a bass. We never had arguments about music ever since. Well... Let's just say we don't argue that much anymore. LOL!

My dad also owns a 1980 Fender Stratocaster that he used more often in gigs and sessions. My dad decided to bring the Roadstar to their rehearsal studio so the guitar won't die or rust and weathering. Unfortunately his friend and bandmate took the liberty of tweaking the guitar... I'm not sure how much work was done on the guitar but my dad said it lost one of its vintage tuning pegs and one of its back covers. So I asked him to take the guitar back keep it at home and maybe one of these days I'll pick it up to have it checked up by some luthier for restoration.

When I get it back, I will have it restored. And maybe kept in a glass case. It is of course one of the things that I would end up keeping from my dad.

Just been a long month

2009-11-27T21:47:00.002+08:00

Now Playing: (Nothing)

So I've been away... I have a lot of tell tales to share but I don't think I'm in my right mind to discuss it. (And since when have I even been on my right mind?)

And as I try to think of what I'm supposed to post here... Those thoughts are still running around my brain. Seriously... I could use that whole "Nothing Box" concept but its just not working today. I must have stacked it somewhere behind one of those other boxes... I'm just not sure which one. =..=

Although I have been posting updates on my twitter and plurk (and tumblr occasionally). What runs in my mind don't even amount to any of those nonsense. (But you may count that I'm still thinking and spewing nonsense at this rate.)

Oh and yeah, if you count the dots in this entry... Including the dots in the "i"s, "j"s, punctuations (and ellipses)... (Are those what you actually call it?) You'll find 93 dots. (Not to mention it has 1165 characters including the title, spaces and the "Now Playing" watchamacallit...)

So if you're up to it, go count it and make me happy for letting me mess with your brain. =]

Yep I can be a dick too -- But I know when to restrain myself

2009-10-01T23:18:00.007+08:00

Now Playing: (Nothing)

So here I am again camping in the office... Yes... I would've ranted saying "Fuck you Typhoon Ondoy!", but I might regret cursing Mother Nature. Afterall, I have a feeling that she's been smoking some really powerful shit these days that even the simplest fart from her ends up in catastrophic proportions.

Anyway, this entry was made because of an inquiry Euri made on Twitter. And after I responded to her, I nonchalantly checked on plurk to (maybe) check on previous replies or reply to posts I find interesting. I ended up reading a shared link posted there by Morrigan which reads "Dick Gordon. He deserves that name."

And yep, I read the entire post and some comments on that Facebook note.

As posted in verbatim...

DICK GORDON, YOU NEED A DOSE OF REALITY!!!!!

To think the deluge of volunteerism support and the “Bayanihan” spirit of the Filipino has somewhat made me believe that this country is indeed worth figthing for, someone destroys it for me. Here’s my story.... On September 30, 2009, our company decided to volunteer with various efforts around the Metro as a genuine act of helping out those who have been ravaged by Typhoon Ondoy. I was placed under the group to support the mission of the Philippine Red Cross in Quezon City. Call time was at 8 am sharp and we got to the Evacuation center by Novaliches at around 10 am. As we were briefed what to do, we also initiated a system to keep things in order because of the number of people. At around 10:45 we were ready and so was everyone else because they’ve been there since the early part of the morning but we were informed by one of the PRC staff on site, we couldn’t give out the goods yet because “protocol” dictates that the PRC chair....Mr. Dick Gordon was going to visit and deliver some sort of speech or at least hand out the goods. We were infomed by a certain Ms. Torres that this was how it goes...we reasoned out with her that the people were lined up already and OBVIOUSLY hungry waiting for so many hours as it was. We also asked if the goods were from MR. GORDON and we were told it was donations to the Red Cross. So we kinda hinted ….we can give it then! But wait we did, by around noon, no word from the DICK and people were getting rowdy saying “Ibigay nyo na! (Give it already!) The number of people was increasing and we knew the goods provided to us would be gone in an instant. It was only a small container van of Air 21 that housed the goods and I’d approximate there were at least a 1,000 people on site.

At this point, my fellow colleagues were exasperated at what was going on. WE COULD STAY THERE the whole day to help out and make sure the people there would at least be spared from any further hurt (if losing a house wasn’t hurtful enough) by doing something significant, instead we were made to wait doing nothing just because someone wanted to use the program for his political gain. I mean, the bag only contained rice, canned goods and noodles…would it be so DIFFICULT to give this away already??!!! We were wearing our company shirts…so it looked like WE WERE THE ONES DELAYING the damn operation.

The Barangay Captain got a hold of the mic and told the people “Maswerte tayo na tayo ang pinuntahang Barangay, hinihintay lang natin ang mga panauhin natin, kaya’t wag kayong mag tampo” (We’re lucky to be the Barangay that will be visited, we’re just waiting for our guests, so don’t fret).
At almost 2 pm, I don’t know what happened but the Brgy. Captain suddenly asked all Senior citizens and pregnant women to make a new line (from the original lines) and then he started to instruct us to give out the goods…and that’s when all hell broke loose. Obviously the people in the original line weren’t too happy with the situation…even if…the idea was noble.
In the end, the stubs to claim the relief goods were more than the relief goods themselves…and I could see a lot of upset people at what had just happened….oh and the clincher of it all…..DICK MOTHER(*@#$!%^) GORDON DID NOT SHOW UP. He wanted this obviously to be a POLITICAL event for him and then decided that maybe it wasn’t worth showing up for after all.
I can’t believe that a time like this when ORDINARY people are coming together, POLITICIANS REMAIN THE SAME…AND I can only PRAY MR. GORDON that you be granted some sort of WISDOM (OR BALLS) to DECIDE WHAT YOU REALLY WANT TO DO. Don’t go on making PROTOCOLS that are STUPID AND INANE especially in times like this….people have lost their loved ones, their houses, basically everything they have and you still have the GALL to use this to YOUR Advantage.
Believe me, if you ever run for office, I WILL NEVER VOTE FOR YOU and I hope everyone who sees this blog does the same thing. It’s funny a week ago on ANC you told viewers that the reason why we’re in a rut is because our government does not have a CLEAR SYSTEM….so please EXPOUND to me how your PROTOCOL of overseeing the distribution of relief goods was more of SYSTEM rather than a POLITICAL STUNT.
DICK. I honestly believe your name suits you quite well.

Well I'm not even one to talk about politics. But the entry was really spot on. And yep it was indeed happening despite the efforts of ordinary citizens helping with the relief operation. Its like their (politicians') version of "Screenshot! Or it didn't happen."

Anyway, going back to the topic (oh yeah, Euri asking why I don't plurk anymore, fuck you segue!) I just gave her 2 responses (1 and 2) because it couldn't be conveyed in 140 characters. LOL!

So I guess its best to shut my mouth before this gets misinterpreted as defaming a public figure. If there is such a violation that can be filed against me. But yeah, normally, I would've been a dick too but now was just not the time to make cracks at the situation while people are busy helping with the relief operations while I'm just tucked in safely at home or in the confines of our office building.

To everyone who's working hard helping the recent tragedy's victims. Salute! o7

What is the right question?

2009-09-26T02:22:00.003+08:00

Now Playing: XYZ - HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR

The week has been heavy. And so have the previous weeks. Its only now that I realized I haven't freaking blogged. So now I write this entry. =..=

I've been posting the same question on Plurk since Wednesday. I meant it to be rhetorical but people thought of it as a karma booting plot. LOL! Unfortunately, it didn't serve that purpose. So I guess this entry should at least be able to explain why I've been asking such a nonsensical question. As it was sparked by a lot of events and so have people's reaction to those events followed.

Its only normal that people react after catching news or hearing something they're not prepared to hear. Well how the heck can you call it news if you expected it? =..=

While some people end up is kicking and screaming, I just nod and think of what I need to do. Now I'm not saying I'm trying to be cool or what. Deep inside my mind, I'm saying "What the fuck?!!" But I really don't have the will to say it aloud or make a fuss about it. I guess it has something to do with not being able to take offense. And its help me built quite a tollerance over awkward situations. And "awkward" in those situations would really make you say "Un-fucking-believable!"

There were instances when I hear people saying "What if all of a sudden I just... Let's see how it works." Sometimes I hear something like, "This isn't fucking worth it." Or the occasional, "This is just frustrating." or "Working with... is so frustrating." And my personal favorite, "Fuck you all!" Although the last one always sounds like a joke.

I'm not saying these thoughts never crossed my mind. Honestly, they did. And that's also the same reason why I've been asking my self, "What is the right question?"

Anyway, the last few days have been rough not just on me but on everybody as well. And being in an environment where you'd either be able to hear or be the one involved in conversations about the recent new got me thinking, "Is it wrong if I'm trying to be calm in this situation or am I just retarded?" And so I end up going home wearied and dumbstruck in awe. And yes, as a result, I end up sleeping later between 12:00 AM and 1:00 AM. Not to mention I wake up at 5:30 AM to get prepared for work. =..=

So after all that, do you think you know what the right question is?

Oh and yeah, this was supposed to be posted yesterday morning but I just had to drop it until later. Thank you procrastination!

Screw Disorientation -- A change of pace

2009-09-03T09:50:00.014+08:00

Now Playing: (Nothing)

As the title suggests... Screw disorientation. Since I can't blog during the evenings. Might as well blog first thing in the morning right? No objections. This is not a topic for discussion.

Anyway... I've been lurking the interwebs and have been watching a lot of random and fan made vocaloid produced music and videos. Particularly, Japanese music. This last one so far had me playing it over and over.

The song is entitled "Palette".

Credits: MMD - MikuMikuDance

I'm pretty lost for words right now so I'll let the video speak for itself.

Allow me to celebrate -- This is still my interweb space

2009-08-24T20:04:00.007+08:00

Now Playing: (There's a reason why I don't have anything here)

Finally an August entry! Much has happened during this month that has kept me away and at bay from posting an entry. Whoa! I typed in something that rhymes! LOL

Anyways, this is a rather late entry with regards to the buzz that's been out since Thursday last week. News has been out and ArenaNet has finally released an update to their much awaited follow up to their Guild Wars franchise.

Enter Guild Wars 2 - In the Shadows of Dragons!!!

Website: Guild Wars 2
Video: ArenaNet's YouTube Channel

I'm still speechless because of this and I'm just blogging about it. LOL! And yep, this definitely calls for a celebration! Now where did I put my GW installers again? ''O|¯|_

This is just me being a geek. And you'll probably get more of this from me when I rummage through my screenshots archive just to post GW geekery.

End post.

Dealing with -- A short rant

2009-07-30T00:13:00.008+08:00

Now Playing: BLUE TRAIN - ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION

Okay, I guess all that's left for me to do is to post a rant because I don't have any other entry for July. And to think I was able to make 5 entries for June... Gawd. =..=

Anyway, as the title suggests. "Dealing with". And I currently am just dealing with...

With what? Here's a list.

1. Life. Of course this will be the first entry on my list. If it weren't, then I wouldn't have made this entry right? Well this is not really one of those "I hate life" rants. But rather, more of the "Why I hate what I hate" kind of reasoning. And these thoughts aren't really as disturbing as I make them sound if you get to spend a day with me. But its just that I move on day-in-and-day-out. And work is not really a different subject but my life somewhat revolves around it. So there's absolutely no reason why I won't be talking and saying shit for everyone and everything around me. None the less I'm "dealing with" it.

2. People. Granted that people are strange. But in my line of work. It is inevitable for me to not interact with people. Infact, I spend almost the entire shift of the day talking with people. Be in with those I sit beside my station, or across, through chat email or any messaging media. And for some reason, this is probably the most valid reason why I start having those "Why I hate what I hate" thoughts. Simply because they instigate it. I'm not a very vocal person as I do most of my rants here. But if I do lash back, you'll find it quite unbecoming of me (well that is if you actually consider the usual pot-shooting me "normal"). And I do admit these spats with people are more of a mutual understanding. After all, you can't start a fire without something to burn, and something to light it up. Right?

3. Situations. But of course. Without a scenario, there's nothing to discuss about, no topic. And these "situations" happen quite often. Not just with me. But with everyone as well. I would love to cite an example but I reserve the topic off from discussion because it includes present company. And as much as I have a lot to say about the things happening around, it would equally mean that they too have a lot to say (or even more) about it or me in general. However, this does not discontinue my subtle hints regarding "issues" and "incidents" concened.

4. Contingencies. Of course one should always have a back up plan for any possible situation. And for some reason, these things are not quite unnoticed by usual critiques. Its enough that arguments start with "situations" but apparently, no one pays attention to "contingencies". I guess I can say that to them, you can only fail once. And failing is an already grave mistake. But my argument is that "contingencies" are devised to mitigate any possibility of incurring further damage to the original developed process. To me, its better to have a readily prepared crowd control measures than work your ass trying hard NEVER to fail. Which of course is virtually impossible. One can only prepare to a certain extent.

5. Post mortems. We could say its close to an autopsy (yes I know you've actually searched for the word). But its more a review. Well... Supposedly... But unfortunately, the review turns into a superbowl of finger-pointing and dicking-arounds. Everyone just has beef on one another. And this is probably the most proper venue to dish it all out. I personally wouldn't want to be involved in these orchestrations. But when push comes to shove... I will have "my fist into your face" (pun)

And I said this was short. Who cares?!

Although, I wonder if I should paint a more detailed picture next time? Perhaps. In due time... *smirk*

It always rains at this day of the year -- And today it rained weird

2009-07-17T23:58:00.004+08:00

Now Playing: Sunshower - Chris Cornell

Seldom have I seen an 18th of July that's actually dry... ¬_¬

Was what I've put as today's status message on my messengers. Its funny 'coz it rhymes a little. It just came to mind as I was hauling a couple of tupperwares of macaroni salad and a tray of barbecue to work from Batangas. For what reason? Let's just say the date has something to do with the food. =..=

Not that I'm not happy to do it. I really didn't mind bringing food to the office. But I'm not that big on treating people as well. Unless I really feel like doing so. And as long as I have the budget for it. Living from pay-day to pay-day is a bad thing believe me. But today, I just feel like doing so too. It's been planned since last week anyways. And this is short of me saying thanks to everyone putting up with the crap I've been pulling in the office day in and day out.

Its just that I didn't expect today to be weird. Rain isn't quite rare during this time of the year and I've already expected today's weather and what ever will come tomorrow.

But I wasn't prepared for what happened today. It rained weird and awkward.

After almost a year, I suddenly got back in touch with a girl friend. (Don't misinterpret that. Its a friend that happens to be a girl.) Anyways, the last time we spoke was the 21st of this same month last year. And that last conversation I had with her on Y!M wasn't quite pleasant. And I kind of got it out of my system already. Or so I thought.

I guess the reason why I've been feeling queasy last night had something to do today. And the uneasiness came back the moment I stepped out of the house and hailed a trike. A feeling of impending doom.

And so when I stepped into the office, a pending friend request popped up with a familiar name. And that triggered the awkward. And I was actually considered hitting the "decline" button for some time. But I clicked "accept" regardless. And proceeded with what's scheduled to be done picking up from yesterday's leave.

I'm not sure if it was me or some ghostly force that just directed me to click on the messenger icon on the task bar and search for that friend's name. And the thought of maybe just saying "Hi." or "How've you been?" was also in my head.

Maybe I was eager, or just wanted to see for myself... If the awkwardness was right about that feeling of impending doom.

I was supposed to post something a little less cheesy instead of this entry but the weather wasn't really cooperating. And unfortunately, I'm completely blank. Not that this doesn't happen often. I have my off days and my normal shitty days. But today it just rained weird.

Should I hope that tomorrow will still be normal? But today just got weird. And thanks to the weather, its already obvious that tomorrow's going to be soaked as well.

The question now is... What do do with the rest of this supposed new year for me?

Oh and yeah, this was intentionally published on schedule.

Happy birthday to me. I guess... =..=

My recent near death experience -- Yeah I almost died biches!!!

2009-06-30T21:23:00.003+08:00

Now Playing: Don't say "lazy" - Sakurakou K-ON Bu

This should have been posted last Friday if only I didn't fall asleep on my station in the office... Late night reports... Enough of that! =..=

As the title suggests, I'm supposed to rant about almost dying the other day. Specifically last Friday. So let me start...

Like any other day, I usually take the MRT to and from work. And riding the train on a daily basis can sometimes be both enjoyable or disgusting depending on the circumstances.

So this last one I'd just had to share because it was full of FAIL in EPIC proportions.

The day started out normally. With me waking up to my phone's alarm and crawling down and off the bed from where I stay at in Marikina. I usually wake up around 5:30 AM on my phone's watch but I for a fact know that the time's been set 30 minutes in advance... And so the normal morning routines follow... Let's leave my morning routines alone because the thought of it is just not pleasant.

So going out I usually take a trike ride from inside the subdivision all the way to the highway where I can grab a jeep or an FX cab. Unfortunately, that day, it was a bit drizzly because of a previous storm forecast. (But the storm wasn't as bad as we expected. =..=) And thanks to Murphy's Law... There was just no trike waiting in line that time so I had to walk from where I was all the way to the highway. And the length of the walk would be 300 to 400 meters. I didn't mind the showers but I just so happened to bring a not-so-thick jacket with be from home (Batangas) during the start of the week so it wasn't enough to keep me dry. =..=

So from the highway, I luckily caught an FX cab and got off at the Cubao MRT station. The time then was a quarter past six so there weren't that many people on the platform. (Or so I expected. =..=) Thanks to the forecast, there were more than the usual number of people who also have this habit of going to where they're bound either earlier than usual or cramming on the last minute. Most of them follow the latter habit. And it took a couple of crowded trains before I got on one. The first two trains that I didn't got on were actually a little less crowded compared to the one I got on. All thanks to the mob that was blocking the doors and pushing people inside the train respectively.

So inside the train I stood. Amidst the crowd I mind my own listening to the loud blast of my MP3 player. Then just as soon as the train doors were about to close at the Santolan/Annapolis Station, the EPIC occurred... A policeman's side arm, (I assume it was a .45 just from the look of it) went off just a few inches from where I stood. I tried to check if my leg was shot or something, checked if I was hit anywhere but luckily I wasn't. =P

However, it did hit the said officer on his right leg where his side arm was rested resulting to him grunting and mumbling about the pain and about the crowd not giving way. Oh, and yeah, his right leg was already bleeding as he was ranting at the bystanders. Because of the commotion I had to take off my headphones for a while and with that I heard the officer saying... "Sabi naman kasing makikiraan eh..." Which translates to "I've been asking to make way..." And I didn't have the enthusiasm to listen to the rest of his rant so I've put my headphones back on.

The officer and 2 other policemen (whom I didn't notice were standing behind me) got off at the next station. So that ends my EPIC near death experience.

Now I start my rant.

First, as a police officer, it probably is standard operating procedure that your service firearms should always have its safety on at all times unless in compromising situations. Any means of public transport can indeed have these compromising situations but NOT ALWAYS.

Second, I can't say I don't care what happened to you, but I can't really pity you for the accident. I was standing inches away from you. How the fuck do you think I would've felt if I was the one who got shot? Much worse, if I got killed because you didn't have your gun's safety on?! Jezuz!

Third, blaming the crowd is not really a valid excuse. Given the fact that the trains are relatively crowded during rush hours, you not getting off at the exact station you wanted to is nothing more than a consolation to what the transport group claims as fair service. Although I can still commend you for keeping your poise because I know how excruciating you might have felt after actually getting shot in the leg. I may not have an idea of how it exactly felt, but your facial expressions were enough to say "It fucking hurts!"

Honestly, you were really man enough to endure the pain. And I know for a fact that the training you took to get where you are is no walk in the park. So I still have enough respect for you as a law abiding citizen.

Anyway, this is getting quite long so might as well end it. Although I remember this isn't the first time I've almost got canned so to speak. I wonder if I can still recollect those memories of my near death experiences. Hopefully. But in another entry.

I still get to keep my life to enjoy so I'm good with that.

Interruption -- Another messed up chat log

2009-06-22T20:05:00.008+08:00

Now Playing: Pastime Paradise (Live) - Stevie Wonder

I was supposed to post an account of last weekend's events but suddenly... Another messed up IM. ''O|¯|_

I unsuspectingly added this user to my Y!M list thinking it was a guildmate. Since there was a thread in our forums where we can leave our messengers so we can all add each other up for timely conference chats or what nots. And there were several others already who've added me already because of that thread.

Anyway, so I did add this one up. And to my surprise, it wasn't someone I know. =..=

Logs:

The offer was quite tempting and I think I can actually get away with the cash after I drag the guy to one of the strip joints my relatives run. But recently, news about a certain international actor who died in a hotel somewhere in Southeast Asia crossed my mind.

It was suspected that the so called death of the actor was not accidental but was some what a murder case involving prostitutes... Well you can assume the guy has some weird sexual fetishes to be ganked the way he got pwnt.

And another thing that crossed my mind would be the possibility of this guy just fishing for an unsuspecting victim to what ever fetishes he fancies. Scary shit. And I don't fucking dig those kind of shit to begin with. =..=

Other than that, there have been people who suddenly track my messenger IDs for no apparent reason and start bugging me about cases somewhat related to my line of work. Which to me is annoying to some point because they seem to assume that doing so actually helps them resolve their cases. It actually doesn't. And it doesn't have anything to do with adding me or what so ever.

And apparently, no one ever admits how they got hold of my messenger IDs! WTF right?! Now I think I know how it feels to be stalked. (If this was anything close to it.)

So if you happen to be that guy in the log and you happen to come across this entry, good luck looking for a sucker for your bait! LOL!

I ain't that dumb to fall for this shit. I should be doing this shit to begin with! ROFL!

So in the end, I make a note to myself... Never add people up unless you verify them to belong in your group of friends or within the online community you're participating in.

What a FAIL. ''O|¯|_

Injustice -- Three things that make a good find not worth it

2009-06-09T19:26:00.008+08:00

Now Playing: Spill the Dope - MASAKI

This is going to be an untimely rant post but who cares right?

Entertainment. Its what keeps us entertained. I'm a genius I know. Sue me. =..=

Anyway, I get my fill through the interweb more than any local media available.

Besides the fact that I spend around 15 hours a day in front of a PC connected to high speed internet because of my nature of work, entertainment for people like me is just a few clicks or keyboard strokes away. (That's another way of spelling YouTube by the way)

There are also those rare occasions when I get to sit down in front of the old tube at home and just watch whatever is available on screen. And sure enough, one time or another, both medium will reach a median. (Okay that was kind of redundant =..=)

My point is, there are things that you find first on the interweb that hasn't reached the local entertainment scene yet. And to you, those are good fresh finds. But thanks to our local entertainment media, those good fresh finds suddenly turn into "not worth" the watch or listen to entertainment minutes.

An example would be what local variety shows put up as part of talent production numbers for artists such as dance numbers or stage song performances. And last weekend, I had a huge ass bowl serving of injustice for what to me are good finds on the internet.

Well mainly, my gripe is sparked after seeing several local weekend variety shows spend production and air time for performers dancing or singing to a specific Korean Pop group song which I so got lucky to find sometime late March this year. You can click here for details to know which specific Korean Pop group and song I'm talking about. And yes, it has a date to reference when I came across the single.

I don't have anything against the local variety shows' segment production team and producers, but having one too many renditions of a song sometimes disgusts the hell out of some audience. Like me. (And I'm not saying all the audience as well because some just like watching things over and over again. =..=)

And props to the artists who actually danced to the tune of something they don't entirely understand for uhm... A good performance... I guess...

This rant is getting long already. So without further ado, here are the three things that for me, makes good find not worth it.

When you hear the song being repeatedly played on almost all radio stations. Of course they'll be played on the radio stations! I actually don't mind hearing them. But hearing them over and over again is a different issue. I can tolerate repeatedly playing a song if it were on an MP3 player. I just find it wrong that the songs plays once, then cue in commercial, then the song plays again after because of a request. WTF right?! Thank god for mp3 players.

When you hear people around you singing along or lines from the song. Singing the song is actually nice. I could say its a talent for who ever will be doing so. But if they make an awful rendition of the song like mispronouncing the lyrics or going off tune... Its just painful. Not to mention if they're not eye candy. I'd prefer looking at someone really cute messing up on the song than something else less flattering.

When local TV shows start having segments of artists or individuals performing to or the song. Of course this tops the list! Its just too much and far too many. And worse, when talent searches out of these songs start appearing. =..=

Honestly, I'm all for variety. I listen to music from anywhere in the globe as long as I can get my hands on them. How I get them, I'm sure you know. LOL!

And yes, I'm biased to the interweb. I can live with out any TV or cable for the rest of my life but not without internet.

I'd like to extend the list but I just ran out of juice for it because of the disgust and disappointment...

Lastly, my message to who ever would read this that might get offended. Don't be offended. You're giving me too much credit if you do. I'm just posting what I think. And I think, this is just messed up. Ya dig? =..=

Happy Birthday Mom =]

2009-06-05T07:25:00.005+08:00

Now Playing: (Nothing)

Saw this video on YouTube a few weeks back. I don't remember how I chanced upon it and it took me a while before I tracked it again.

It was dedicated to one of their guildmate in WoW. Its a good short to watch. Although I can't say my mom could have been able to relate if she watched this. But like the people who made this video, I know how it feels to miss a loved one.

Happy Birthday Mom. You know we miss you. And don't worry about us. We're still holding up. =]

Credits: Nhym of Madcow Studios

When you thought it was over -- Another messed up chat log

2009-06-04T21:00:00.004+08:00

Now Playing: ZEN ZEN - MASAKI

So last night I said something about hoping that I don't post any more messed up chat logs. Unfortunately... Another one popped up. ''O|¯|_

And immediately after this entry too. =..=

And guess who it came from:

And yep... You read that right. This one's a lot more messed up compared to last night. LOL! XD

Messed up chat logs -- Lolicons sound better than Pedophiles

2009-06-03T19:23:00.008+08:00

Now Playing: Boys and Girls - Good Charlotte

So the title suggests that this entry should have a chat log somewhere... LOL!

Well actually just some screens of a chat log between me and a friend since playing Ragnarok Online.

There are just some times when one of us drops an IM to eachother commenting about one's status message or IM avatar.

This recent one was because of me using pictures of girls (who are sometimes girl friends or some random Asian celebrity) and a particular status message which said,

"Hataraki - Make me smile and I'll be yours for a day. Make me laugh and you'll never tell another joke in your lifetime."

Useless info: Hataraki is actually a Japanese word that means working or at work.

And so the chat log goes like this:

And yeah, I realized that I have been chatting that way more often that I do before. I guess I'd have to blame work for that again. LOL!

But that's beside the point! The argument here is that Lolicons really do have a nicer ring to it than being called a Pedophile! =..= I mean, what's wrong with ogling younger chicks? Its not like I do anything to them? I just ogle at them. And isn't that normal? Err... At least for guys like me. LOL!

Anyway, I don't think there will be any follow up posts about chat logs because I don't really archive chats. For some reason I just built a habit of not saving archives.

Anyway, this should suffice as a short update post. I'm kind of tanked with work so I'll probably just leave shorts like this to keep this blog rolling. LOL!

Hopefully the next entry will be about the Lucena Mardigras Gig that me and the band just had.

e-COW-nomics -- Econimics made simple with Cows

2009-05-20T19:53:00.012+08:00

Now Playing: Pink White Blue - Mayonnaise

A friend in the office has been hooked to StumbleUpon and stumbles on a lot of things. One of them is this article about Cows and Economics. I just thought it was funny as hell so I'm sharing it here. LOL!

How do you easily explain varying economic models easily?

In an updated take on an old classic, you use cows.

This via email so I’m not sure where it came from originally, but it’s a good read.

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet is provided with the release which says something like A valuable lesson has been learned. The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

Source:

THE INQUISTR

The Bet -- Because hating the rest of the year starts with a haircut

2009-05-18T20:26:00.021+08:00

Now Playing: Burnout - Sugarfree

WTF are we doing here again?
So here's where I tell the tale of how I lost my hair and state how much I will hate the rest of the year... Not that it makes me feel any different. The fact is I'd still probably hate the rest of the year regardless if I did get a haircut or not. So picking up from when I left of here. Allow me to post images and provide details of why I took on this so called "bet".

So let's start with some basic details to why this "bet" came to start in the first place. Like what made me grow my hair longer than usual?

It started after I convinced the wife that I won't be getting a haircut on Orange's (our daughter) first birthday. Instead I will be growing my hair enough to get dreadlocks for a few months and then go back to sporting my old haircut. She agreed after a few months of negotiation where I had to state the fact that all I've been having as hairstyles during my entire life were the occasional shaved head, to my regular short hair to the less appealing nest-like vegetation that I eventually grow. This is actually the second time that I've managed to grow my hair long enough to have it tied behind my head.

Yeah I know this side shows more hair than I see on the mirror
The first time was before my Kiel's (my eldest kid) first birthday but I got a haircut the same time he got his first shaved head. LOL! But it wasn't as long as the recent one. I got called "Pedro Penduko" more often because or my hair and this series which was running back then.

What triggered the bet for me to get a haircut? Well lemme give you the stakes first. And with that, let's start with the penalty.

1. Penalty. And anyone who won't be able to comply with their wagers will have to treat the rest of us to some big ass Yellow Cab pizzas! LOL!

WTF?! Who said anything about treating out?!
2. Bangs. An officemate of mine dared to have her hair done and sport a bangs just so I'd be encouraged to just drop the idea of getting dreads and get a haircut. Actually it wasn't the real reason why I got a haircut. Negotiation wasn't supposed to be open regardless of any offer. LOL!

3. Curls / Locks. (And I can't find a reference link damn it!) Another officemate of mine dared to get curls in exchange for me getting a haircut. Similar with the first wager, this shouldn't have had any weight to the bet. But she's actually the person that gets annoyed the most because of my hair. LOL!

4. Wardrobe Change. The same officemate who dared with getting curls threw in another wager claiming that for an entire week, she'd purdy up and dress a lot more lady-like compared to her more casual everyday ensemble. Now this is something you don't usually see her do. And its not just me who'd actually want to see her do this. LOL!

5. A +7 Set. And yep. This one wager made the difference. =..= I was offered a +7 Impulse Set with Senoir Gloves and Boots if I show up to work with my hair cut. And yep... It got the best of me. ''O|¯|_

So I say goodbye to my dreams of getting dreads... =..=

Don't worry hair... You'll grow back again... I'll miss you... T^T
And because of that haircut, here's what I look like now...

For some reason... I feel like there's something wrong here... =..=
Bottom line... Never deal in-game items with a gamer... The gamer will actually bite the offer. ''O|¯|_

Oh and yeah, here are those two officemates who started the bet... Anyone interested on their details, don't hesitate to message me. LOL!

And yep. I hate my hair cut... ''O|¯|_

The Bet -- Prelude to hating the rest of the year

2009-05-15T22:18:00.006+08:00

Now Playing: Disappear - Dream Theater

I really don't like making bets. Why?

1. I don't win that often on bets,

2. The stakes are either not worth it or too good to be true, and

3. I'm never good with bets to begin with. ''O|¯|_

Well what this is, is basically about a bet that was raised by people whom I work with and who are annoyed at my hair. =..= And to my better judgment, I submitted to their whim and dared the bet.

The bet is for me to get a hair cut. And the stake... Well... This is a prelude so I don't have to really give details now. LOL!

It was a tough decision to make, but someone's got to prove what someone's got to prove.

Pictures and details to be posted on the next entry.

One thing's for sure though... I'm sure I'll be hating the rest of the year. It's not really new. I hate it as it is now. But I'll probably hate it more after losing my hair. =..=

I wonder if the band would freak out after tomorrow? Good thing I have something good to look forward to tomorrow.

Namely, this:

Source:

The Pocket Blog

So with that, I jet heading home. I'm positively, definitely, abso-FUCKING-lutely sure that I won't like what's about to happen tomorrow... =..=

/endrant

A week-load of funny shit -- Post Mother's Day entry

2009-05-13T07:40:00.010+08:00

Now Playing: Merry・Go・Round - YUI

I've been suffering from a cold since Saturday last week. Thanks to an unplanned outing by the in-laws to a hot spring somewhere in Pansol, Laguna.

Although the kids enjoyed wading in the kiddie pools, me and their mom took more pleasure just watching them almost drown. They, unfortunately caught a cold after that outing. And because of the worldwide Swine Flu scare, I kind of find it funny that people get awkward when I jokingly say that I may be suffering from it. LOL!

Also, I lost my voice because too much coughing and not knowing why the heck my throat was dry the entire weekend. Although, the thing might have been caused by fatigue from the outing last Saturday and the band rehearsal the following day. ''O|¯|_

The entire week I had problems speaking up to other people. And the most I can do was give hand gestures or resort to chat just to get my message across. (Thank God for technology! LOL)

Anyway, I'm supposed to dedicate this post as a Post-Mother's-Day entry. Where even though me and the rest of the family were all suffering from runny noses and the occasional body temperature rise, we still enjoyed the weekend. Although I wasn't at home during Sunday because of another band rehearsal, I'd still want to share what made the entire week full of funny shit. So without further ado, here are the top 5 things I have to share from the previous week that happened to be full of funny shit.

5. Commuting. Because I don't drive. LOL! Well actually these are more sick shit than funny but still hilarious at some point. Its just that every time and every day that I commute to office, I end up either witnessing or being at the dealing or receiving end of unfathomable situations. Ranging from getting shoved, pushed, stepped on and almost falling off the ledge of the MRT, to doing the same things to some random jerk who just gets on my nerves, to getting occasionally harassed by big-ass-construction-worker-like fags whom I think enjoy the hustle and tight bustle within the train cars. Makes you wonder if the gas prices were actually the factor why people flock the trains nowadays.

4. Harassment. I'd definitely be enjoying this if I were the dealing end and the victim is a hot chick. LOL! But unfortunately I'm not that much of a creep. Most of the times I get to be the receiving end of this. And unfortunately, most of the times, I get harassed by fags. =..= I mean, seriously. The last time I was harassed by fags was the day I was on the way to work last Friday when we're supposed to get our APE. To cut it short I became a fag burrito. And yeah, those were big-ass-construction-worker-like fags who had me in between their clutches getting rubbed at. ''O|¯|_ I don't have anything against gay people, in-fact I have friends of the same species but they're not big-ass-scary-fags and I don't think they physically harass people. LOL!

3. Swine Flu Scare. I just had to include this. LOL! Actually, its because I had to talk to people that made this funnier. There was a day in the office where a disgruntled subscriber payed us a visit and wanted to get an immediate answer regarding a certain case her husband was served. The funny thing about it was it was her husband who had concerns but she was the one fuming about not being entertained. I wasn't supposed to be creeping out to the lobby but people said this lady kept on asking if the employees coming in to the office are "managers". LOL! Guess she was so aggravated that she had to grab someone else's attention just to be noticed. So I went out being all sick and shit, and asked for any pill for my cold and sore throat. And because I was having problems speaking, and because of the Swine Flu Scare, I played along with the people at the lobby who said I might really be suffering from it. I could've sworn she was about to ask if I was a manager or something but the Swine Flu punch line scared her off. LOL!

2. The Active Office Spats. I've written about this in a previous entry so I don't think I have to give details about it. You just have to include numbers 3 to 5 with this one and you basically have the idea. LOL!

1. Frozen Sinigang. This has got to be the funniest shit I had to deal with during the week. Well just this last Saturday. Since everyone was sick at home, they didn't have the appetite to eat. And to preserve the dish, the wife had it shoved in the freezer. LOL! She defended that the dish was cooked only last Friday so its just been there for less than a day. But just imagine the thing all frozen up that even if you flip the pot over, it just won't slide out. Good thing it was still edible after hyper heating it over the stove. LOL!

My life just gets weirder and funnier by the minute. LOL!

Anyway, since I wasn't able to greet the wife a happy mother's day last Sunday because of the rehearsals. I'll just do to end this entry.

Happy Mother's Day Mi. Thanks for putting up with all the shit I make. =]

And hopefully, there will be more of these funny crap to be posted here. LOL!

The few times I rant -- Who gives a shit?

2009-04-29T08:31:00.002+08:00

Now Playing: Calm Like a Bomb - Rage Against The Machine

During the many occasions where everything is fun. There are some times when one will just tend to succumb to rage and eventually, let the hate loose.

And I quote myself...

You only get offended because you want to be offended with what I say...

... I don't get why my tone of speaking offends people. Its not like I'm fucking insulting anyone or talking down on people.

... I try to say things to lighten up the mood and because I don't want to sound pessimistic when asked questions.

Just some of the lines I carelessly blurted out. And yes, I may have yet again offended people with my untimely rage fits such as these.

The funny thing about these times when I shift to enraged-aggro-mob mode, some people actually find it hilarious. ''O|¯|_

Its weird that people find me funny when I'm serious and serious when I try to be funny. Now that is fucked up. =..=

Honestly, I do feel guilty (sometimes) about the things I say or do out of rage. But the guilty feeling doesn't really last because most of the times people don't really take me seriously. There are just those times when you have to put your foot down and let them feel the hate. LOL!

And I actually realize the humor in the things I've said and done after a while. =..=

And these things don't just happen at work. Where I am is where I'm at. So if I think that you deserve to get pooped on. You should be ready for what I have to say. LOL!

I was actually supposed to post this last night but I just had to call it a day. Thanks to DotA sessions I calmed down some how. You can read the rest of the Kini-ranting-but-still-gets-bashed entry here. Who knows, you might actually end up laughing at how enraged I was and how everyone still managed to bash the shit out of me.

Ending this, I'd like to say that I won't change just because I've realized my faults. I'll still be the same swearing-cursing-Kini but that doesn't mean I don't know when to say sorry.

Like I mentioned in that Plurk post.

Madali naman ako kausap. Maraming paraan para ipaabot sakin na hindi ka or kayo natutuwa.

Translation: I'm not that hard to talk to. And there are countless ways for you to tell me that you don't find me or the things I say or do funny anymore.

Basically, I can take what I can dish out. So don't think I'd be offended if you do tell me. Just be honest and swear or curse if you must. Just as long as you can get it out of you so we don't spread the negativity.

And being a jerk doesn't really make me less of a person. So screw you if you don't agree with that.

World Builder -- Bruce Branit

2009-04-24T20:36:00.005+08:00

Now Playing: (err... Nothing here. LOL!)

I saw this clip last Thursday night when I got home. I just had to share it.

A strange man uses holographic tools to build a world for the woman he loves. This is a short by filmmaker Bruce Branit known also as the co-creator of 405.

Not taking offense -- Is masochism?

2009-04-24T09:58:00.001+08:00

Now Playing: Roll with it - Oasis

To each his own... And for some reason, you just can't argue with that. And there's actually a reason why I'm starting this entry with that.

Lately, work has become fun and interesting, again. Regardless of peer pressure or just getting cramped up with work, people are still having fun. There are times when someone just cracks up a joke or shares a funny thing that happened along the way or while doing something. But the best part about working on shifts are the frequent and seemingly aggressive spats. Everyone gets a kick out of it believe me. XD

Not that its a bad thing. But whenever someone responds to a discussion, it automatically becomes tagged as "aggro" and the spat-fest starts. And its not just between two or three people. Everyone pitches in. When someone's being picked on, the others throw in their own a blunt remark or follow up. And we all end up laughing our asses off.

Its a regular thing happening everyday and everyone gets their fair share of bashing. Including me. And sometimes it happens a little too frequent. Its probably the same reason why I changed my display name on Plurk to "An Aggro Kini". Which of course added more fun to lashing back at them every time I get bashed because the name matches the tone of response I make. LOL!

And the reason why I'm writing about this is because my boss jokingly raised it on an chat conversation. Unfortunately, I don't set my messengers to archive messages so I can't remember what his exact words were. ''O|¯|_ I think he said something about "not taking offense". And looking at that, does it mean if someone doesn't take offense from being insulted or ridiculed, and actually enjoy being the target of bashing, count as masochism?

I remember back when I was in high school. (Fuck! That was years ago! XD) These same things happen within the class. And like then, I also had my time of being at the center of it. Even during college! LOL! Coincidence?

So what does it mean when you don't take offense or you don't get offended? Does it mean you're letting people just make fun of you? Doesn't that make you a douche? Or a masochist at worst? No idea. I guess its a matter of outlook. You take on things and how you look at them.

People have their own way of blowing off steam. Some do by playing loud music, some by writing, some by treating themselves to what they fancy like food, gadgets or some good old fashion lovin' (LOL!). There are also those who do so doing not so constructive things. (I would have said "not doing shit" but no one would probably relate to that. XD) And there are also those who do so by getting a good laugh out of someone else's misery. I know I sometimes do. XD

But the thing is, if its between friends, you tend to be tolerant and overlook the fact that you're already being insulted or just getting picked on. You can be "aggro" all you want and just have fun playing along, or you can switch the tables and annoy the shit out of everyone else by taking things seriously. Can't say its entirely good clean fun. But its still fun none the less. Laughing at something funny or at someone funny or being made fun of is still a good way relive tension. But laughing at people who can't see the humor in things can be funnier. Of course I'm also guilty of not being able to see the humor in things. But its a wheel. Sometimes where on top, sometimes we get rolled on.

So, does not taking offense make me a masochist? I absofuckinlutely have no idea. XD

Resurrected! -- Crawling back from the fish tank

2009-04-21T20:00:00.002+08:00

Now Playing: 光のロック - sambomaster

Well what do you know? The last two updates were... almost 7-8 months apart. But I shouldn't be celebrating because there's much to catch up on. The question now is, "Can I still recall the events from those months that I haven't posted anything?" We'll see.

This really shouldn't be long, I'll just use this space to give credit where credit is due.

To Euri for helping with the new layout. Yes I know, this is one of those ready made templates but it just wasn't enough so some modifications were required. And lucky for me, Euri was willing to help a noob. ''O|¯|_

I admit I don't know anything about coding and the old skin was just not motivating enough to blog. Yup I know, sad excuse. But at least the new layout's better. I think... I just hope its not too much if I ask for help on tweaking it some more. LOL!

The banner is from the Plurk Theme Baddie made when I requested for a plurk theme. Been using the theme since then. And so I thought I could use the same image for this blog.

So I've been away and back. Its not really something to celebrate about but I guess delata's back in business. Just wait till I get back with those updates. And I still have to finish some stuff with the new layout so I'll cut it here.

Truth and Honesty -- Expressions of Reality

2008-08-28T12:11:00.004+08:00

Now Playing: スーパースター - 東京事変

Truth and Honesty are two different expressions of reality. Both of them are elusive. They enter with haste and can not easily be fended off. They can tear apart even the strongest of bonds and taint the clearest of thoughts. Beware.

Just some things that came to my mind on my way to the office. Thought I should put it somewhere safe. Which means I can recall.

2007 > 2008 -- Dormant for 7 months but alive nonetheless =]

2008-01-02T08:33:00.001+08:00

Now Playing: 白波トップウォーター - Sakanaction

This will be short... as in really short.

2007 has been a blast. A lot of things have happened. Some of those things didn't even reach this blog. LOL!

Well, since this blog has been dormant for the last 7 months, I might as well say it will probably be dormant for the next few more months. That is until I get time to post entries, update skin, etc.

Work has been very busy. A lot of stuff has happened that made work a lot tighter. But its cool.

Family life's fun. Specially seeing your kids grow like their on fertilizer. LOL!. Its a great experience.

Social life... well... this is still not a factor in my life. I don't think I have that much time to spend on these stuff. Although I do have times that I can probably spend just bumming around. And bumming around isn't something like doing something productive. ^^;;

Band Life. This is new. I got to be in a band a friend of mine and some of his old friends formed. Did some gigs and stuff. You can check the band at Opensked - Friendster Profile.

Well, like I said, this one's just short. When I'll start blogging again... no idea. LOL!

See ya! For now that is. =]

I took another blog quiz! -- And check out my blog's new feature LOL! XD

2007-05-18T19:07:00.002+08:00

Now Playing: (That thing on the side)

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

Well, this is just a short update. I just added that flash player snippet. So in-case I don't have anything on my playlist, Something will play automatically. And hopefully, it nullified some unwanted mood.

That would be all for now, ciao! *big grin*

Sometimes... I have nothing better to do -- And a blog quiz

2007-05-01T18:16:00.001+08:00

Now Playing: Rylynn -- Andy McKee (from YouTube)

Sometimes, well... like I said, I have nothing better to do. Well... not during my work but on free times.

Recently I haven't done anything alone for myself. Most of the times my nose has been burried deep in work that I don't think if people in the outside world ever experience the same thing that me and some officemates are actually getting. Talk about life being a complete witch (with a capital B). Well anyway, during work, it would be a long 3 to 4 hour rundown on things that have not been accomplished and those currently being executed. I'd have to say I'm quite thankful to be moved to another department. Well... not that I don't like my previous department but being there for almost 3 years (1 more month and it'll be exactly 3 years), you'd prolly be near fed up with the same job right? Well anyway, I got moved to another department so I'd say the work will be pretty much different (I'll try to post a more detailed version of this story some other time).

Anyway, enough about work, this should be about free times and day offs. Well... before I got *cough*buried deep in work*cough* I used to have several things I do when ever I get my day offs. Some of them include playing computer games in mall arcades, crashing at friends' pads, food tripping, movie marathons (these includes dvd movies and animé series marathons), sketching, jamming or just fiddling with a guitar, and writing (well the notebook's quite dead if you ask me. I think I'll need to put in a few things in there. But that'd have to wait 'till I get time to actually write or rewrite old stories from the actual notebook I lost). Lately, I'm left with nothing but playing MMOGs and surfing the net. Which lead me to a friend's blog which had a blog quiz which I took for myself. LOL! And the result...

What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Musician Doo doo de doo waaaa doo de doo! (<-- That's you playing something.) Everyone appreciates the band/orchestra geeks and the pretty voices. Whether you sing in the choir, participate in a school/local band, or sit at home writing music, you contribute a joy to society that everyone can agree on. Yay! Welcome to actually doing something for poor, pathetic human souls. (Just kidding.)
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Drama Nerd
Science/Math Nerd
Anime Nerd
Artistic Nerd
Social Nerd
Literature Nerd
What Be Your Nerd Type? Quizzes for MySpace

I'd have to thank Diwa for the quiz. LOL! At least I can say even though I've been in front of a PC most of the times because of work and my current *cough*distractions*cough*, I'm still not a certified computer geek. LOL!

I'm kind of running short of words at the moment, so I'll have to cut it here for now. Must be the hunger. LOL!

I'll try to post another update as soon as I can. When I have nothing better to do. XD

It ain't a come back -- Another untimely short update

2007-04-21T20:53:00.002+08:00

Now Playing: (none)

Well time for another short and untimely update. =.=

First off, I'd like to say "Congratulations!" to none other than Schweetieplumsh for beating me up in Audition last night. =.= Well... She didn't give me a fighting chance so this is in no way complaining that I lost to her because I was a noob (which she pointed out in her last blog post). =.= Audi's just not my game.

Anyway, other than that, update to myself, I need to put some more things to the blog. Namely:

A site-meter - for me to measure how many people checks this sad excuse for a blog
Another Link-back section - yes some more link backs to sites I visit and the like.
(put something else)
(put something else which is not like No. 3) and
(put something else which is not like No. 4)

Those are just 5 things I need to put in this blog. Oh and maybe a better skin. =.=

Hopefully the next updates will have more of the things happening in my fish tank. You'll be in for a surprise for what's up and comming.

For now... this is just another short... and... untimely update.

An eerie feeling on a weekend -- Stumped (Yes i know my previous post sucked)

2007-03-31T19:15:00.000+08:00

Now Playing: (none)

Okay, so my first post for the year sucked. It was in tagalog and a lot of people commented that it sucked more in tagalog than it did before. So... let it be the last tagalog post I make on this blog. =.=

Well, the reason why I'm posting an entry today is because I'm having this weird, eerie feeling. Honestly, I have no idea what the heck this is. =.=

It all started this morning when I woke up. Usually it would be just get up, get something to munch on, take a bath, dress up for work, watch a few shows on the old tube, and head out for work (sometimes I take an early lunch before taking the trip to work). Then when I got to work, I didn't feel like I should work. Well, it had nothing to do with what's in store for the day. Just that stumped feeling where you didn't want to do anything.

Still, as usual, the usual work, on a usual weekend, on a usual shift, on a usual day. Did some in-game events, checked on some mails, did some forum moderation, and the reset were game observations (to some this kind of work is just play, but for us, its work like every other work. minus the stress ofcourse). Well, just the usual things. But it didn't feel right. It felt like something's missing.

Later that day, I browsed on my old friendster account and checked on some old friends. And then it hit me... What the heck am I doing?

But honestly, I have no idea. =.=

This too shall pass. I'm just stumped. LOL!

unang post para sa taon

2007-03-13T11:35:00.000+08:00

Nakikinig sa: (takatak ng keyboard, ingay ng air conditioning system, atbp.)

matagal tagal na rin akong hindi nakapag update ng blog. =.=

busy lang kaya hindi ako nakapag update.

sa ngayon... tama na muna to para sa unang post. kung mapapansin ng mga bumibisita sa blog na to, hindi ko na sinunod yung dati kong pagpopost dahil mejo nakakasawa na. sobrang dami nang wanna be's na nagpipilit maging fluent sa pagsulat sa ingles. kahit ako, nababantutan na nga ako sa pagsusulat ko ng tagalog pero sige na, pag-tyagaan na natin. wala naman sigurong magrereklamo kung baguhin ko yung pagsusulat ko.

naalala ko, wala pala akong entry para sa natapos na taon. ni hindi ko manlang nabigyan ng magandang closure yung nakaraan taon sa dami ng pinagkaabalahan ko. (sana ngayon hindi na maging ganun ka busy ang buhay ko para naman mas madalas kong ma-update tong walang kabuluhang blog na to.

nga pala, binago ko na rin yung URL ng blog ko dahil mashadong mahaba yung luma. gumagana na pala ulit yung TagBoard pero baka palitan ko rin yan sakali mang mangyari ulit na mag-down yang lintek na yan.

ay nga pala, para sa kaunawaan ng mga bibisita dito, pakundangan pero hindi ako magpipigil na mag post ng kung ano man na pumasok sa utak ko. (maging mura o cuss word man yon o hindi). blog ko naman to kaya walang pwedeng kumontra. >:D

susubukan kong piliting alalahanin yung mga nangyari nung mga nakaraan araw at buwan para naman mapunan ko yung mga hindi ko nailagay dito.

sa ngayon, tama na muna to para sa unang post.

Its been a year -- ...

2006-12-19T21:18:00.000+08:00

Now Playing: (none)

Its been a year already...

since this day...

Be my Penguin? -- Just a short update

2006-12-11T21:01:00.000+08:00

Now Playing: (my winamp just died because of the power failure)

I've always wondered where these cute little clips comes from. Can anyone send me the where this can be found?

*click the image to see it better

So... be my penguin? =3

I feel soooooooooooo crappy =..= -- And here's another blog quiz

2006-12-03T13:57:00.002+08:00

Now Playing: Why am I always on YouTube

Jason Mraz - Sleep all day

Lyrics:

I say that when his after moan though cries oh no
He's building up a shine but he take it slow
And he knows it time to make a change here
And time to get away
And he knows its time for all the wrong reasons
Oh time to end the pain

Why don't we sleep all, we sleep all day, sleep all, we sleep all day over ...again
Why don't we sleep all, we sleep all day, sleep all, we sleepin all day over ...again

Ah she said what would your mother think and oh
How would your father react oh lord
Would he take it all back what they've done
No way they said take it, take it and he said make it with your own two hands
That was my old man and he said
If all is grounded you should go make a mountain out of it...

Oh what a lovely day to have a slice of humble pie
Oh recalling of the while we used to drive and drive going here and there
We're going nowhere but for us, going nowhere but for the two of us
Oh and we knew that it was time time to take a take love, time to take a chance here
And time to compromise to occupy their lives
And it was time for all the wrong reasons oh
But oh time is often ah on my side ah but I'd give it to you tonight

And we sleep all, we sleep all day, sleep all, we sleep all day over ...again
Why don't we sleep all, we sleep all day, sleep all, we sleep all day over ...again

As time goes by we get a little bit tired waking and baked another marlboro mile wide
Its sending the boys on the run in the time in hot summer sun
To swim beneath over outside where they're reading between the lines ah
Ohh but they remember the part in the hallmark card where they read about the dreamin
And they're reaching for the stars to hold on a bit closer to
Oh and say they knew that it was time time to take a take love, time to take a chance here
And time to compromise to occupy their lives
And it was time for all the wrong reasons oh
But oh time is often a-on my side but I'd a-give it up up up up, oh boy

Sleep all, sleep all day, sleep all, we sleep all day over again
Why don't we sleep all, we sleep all day, sleep all, we sleepin all day over ...again

Ohh and she said what would your mother think and
How would your father react to you love
Would he take it all back what they've done
No way they said take it, take it he said make it don't break it with your own two hands
That was my old man and he said
If all is grounded you should go make a mountain out of it

Anyway... here's the blog entry

I'm so bummed to update. I still need to go look for a good template. =..=

And yes, as the title suggests, these blog quiz results are handy to fit in as blog entries. =..=

Spare Time: An update after so long -- This entry is not 56kbps friendly

2006-11-29T16:13:00.003+08:00

Now Playing: (I'm on YouTube so check the videos)

Last entry was October 19?! What happend? o_O

Well actually a lot of things happened. So much things that I didn't have the time to update this blog. Well... at last... here's an update.

First on the line, I'd like to rant. Why? Because for some reason, my tagboard here was all screwed up. Screwed up in a sense that everytime I check this blog, the damn pop up always well... "pops up"! I mean... WTF is up with that?! =..= Its the same reason why I haven't made any effort to update. Well... on the contrary... this IS an effort of updating. =..=

Anyway, I hope I wasn't the one who had his tagboard screwed up like that. Now as everone can see... I've taken the damn thing out from the sidebar. And lets hope the damn pop up doesn't "pop up" again.

Next on the line is that I'd still like to rant. Why? Because for some reason, I don't have enough time to allot for myself. In what sense... let's say for rest and recreation. The past few weeks, I've only got some few hours to slug out on some games. Aren't day offs supposed to be for r&r? o_O

Anyway, it's not that much of a bother that I can't have the same length of playing time I used to have. The other thing is a matter of financial concerns. And that's on line 3. What I'd give to just have one full day of rest (sleep) and recreation (catching up on some hobbies) to spend for myself.

Line 3. As I mentioned, financial concerns... =..= Why? Promise me you won't go all out hysterical on this one. Okay?

I got my credit card application approved about a month ago. Had it activated and... used it as reserve cash during those "drying times". Actually that was the reason why I applied for one anyway. So using it should be okay for me. Thing is, I'm not the one using it. Well... you could say I'm the one using it because I'm aware of all the purchases I made but it wasn't me who was making the choies of the purchases. Guess who. >.<

Anyway... the card aleady reached more than half of its credit limit in a span of 1 1/2 months. Isn't that just great?! ¬_¬ I mean... 1337 gr34+! right? So... who'll be paying the credit card bills? o_O Andwer... Me. ROFLcopter! =..= /sarcasm

Last on the line... I've been craving to catching up on some hobbies lately. Some of it is to brush up on playing guitars, sketching, and... err... bumming around? (if you can call that a hobby).

I dunno if its just me... or has the world suddenly gone smaller and smaller for me. =..= Like what I always rant about here... I just want some time for myself. That's all. Capish?!

Niwei... I think this is good enough for an update. Reminder I've just taken down the tagboard so if anyone has something to say... feel free to leave a message.

I'm still thinking of changing the blog template and the blog url when I get the time. For now... let's make do with the "no tagboard" blog.

Crap... I just remembered... I should take down the tagboard on My Lost Notebook blog.

Anyway... these are some good watches. Jerry C rocks! When I get the time I'll be learning these songs. =..=

Jerry C - Whose Autumn

Jerry C - No More Distance

Jerry C - Cannon Rock

Enjoy! =]

Just a short update -- No time to blog as of now

2006-10-19T11:46:00.001+08:00

Now playing: (noting here)

A friend of mine in the office once showed me this same drumline clip. But when I wanted to post it on my blog, I couldn't find the darn thing. But anyway I found it and now its here for anyone to view.

Consider this a short update. I've had no time to blog in the mean time and I think the whole tagboard's messed up. I will update when I get the time.

I have nothing good to do today -- Here's some quiz results

2006-09-10T22:54:00.001+08:00

Now playing: One last Breath - Creed

Sometimes I just have nothing better to do.

Other than work, I sometimes browse and post on forums. Sometimes sulk in YouTube watch a few videos, read other people's blogs (yes the ones on the Buffet Table) or sometimes just do Blog Quizes. Some I do because of the results other people gets, some I do out of curiousity.

These ones I did out of someone's result.

The results came from this quiz:

What power is compatible with you?
First result:
Your power is: Time Control
Explanation:

You have the ability to freeze, push forward or go back in time. In good purposes it is used to prevent bad deeds, and the opposite for evil purposes. As a person your emotional level has been on hold. For one reason or another emotions has reduced and now you aren't so full of life. And of course, this does not sadden you since you could care less. Sometimes though you can be hit by emotioal waves inside but you block it all out. You don't search for something that could make you happy since you have no hope in that area any longer. People probably see you as annoying because you're not involved and just stand there. You probably don't have that many friends either, and you feel like you are with them because that's what you normally do. You stick to your habits and don't appreciate changes.

Negative aspects:

One day all emotions are gonna surface again, and that day will be very painful. Instead it is more wise to start up the emotional level bit by bit, so it won't come as a big chock.

Second result:
Your power is: Clairvoyance
Explanation:

Your power is that you can look into the future and see what is coming. How far and long you can look is all depending on your skill level. This can, as all powers, be used in both evil and good. Even if it may seem like a boring ability it is a huge responsibility for the carrier, becase they are constantly tempted with doing the wrongs deeds (e.g. cheat on a test). It takes high morals to not be brought down with it. Therefore you fit with this power quite well. You take responsibility and do what is the right thing to do. This does not make you a saint, since you're only human after all. But it makes a trustworthy person and you are loyal to camrades and/or team mates. In school you were probably a good student. If you were social varies from person to person, but most clairvoyant people tend to prefer their own company or that of close friends and family. That is because you are wise and knows how to treasure the reliable in your life, since you know popularity can be a false element. You are also not that big on taking risks and prefer what is already explored. That is because you don't like suprises, they can turn out bad and then you won't be in control.

Negative aspects:

Since you're always doing the right thing and being trustworthy all the time you can become frustrated. Also, all that you carry on your shoulders may stress you out. You need to relax to be in good mental shape.

Third result:
Your power is: The ability to breathe under water

Explanation:

When swimming, you don't need to get up and take a new fresh breath since you take in oxygen from the water. This allows you to stay in the water as much as you'd like. In good purposes it can save drowning victims. In evil purposes it can help you drag down a person to the depths and have them drowned. This power helps you escape the world, if even for a bit, since you have grown to despise it so much. You have been a beaten dreamer with aspirations crushed. Now you try to control your hopes because you don't want to get hurt again. You feel there is no hope for you in the future and have no real goals. But unlike the Controller of Time you do still feel, even if it's mostly negative emotions. You have few friends, if any, and feel you are unable to speak about your troubles. And unlike the Transformer, you don't feel happiness nowadays. All seems to be filled despair whereever you go and you are bitter becaue the world has failed you. It didn't turn out the way you wanted it too and you feel betrayed. It is also likely the feeling of betrayal comes from past relationships where you were left alone in the end.

Negative aspects:

Since you are highly depressed and not letting out your emotions properly there is a possibility for cutting, to let the emotions out. Also, if the feeling of despair grows to strong you might consider taking your life.

Now I'm starting to wonder why the heck do these quizes have results that match me. =.=

Apathy -- Freedom from emotion

2006-08-27T13:42:00.000+08:00

Now playing: Helena - My Chemical Romance

What feeling do you represent?

You represent... apathy.
You don't really show any emotion. You can be considered
cruel and cold, but you just don't really care about anything.
This is just the way you are... you're quite a challenge
to get close to, and others may perceive you as boring.

Take this quiz!

Its funny how sometimes online quizzes and trivials gets to tell what you are or what you feel near to perfect. Though, I'd like to describe myself to be a bit more stioc than apathetic. But I guess this works for me.

Don't you just wish you can pause time? -- Or press rewind? =.=

2006-08-22T21:01:00.003+08:00

Now playing: Linger (Acoustic) - The Cranberries

Have you ever wished you could at least control time once or just for some certain situations? Get a chance to pause it or something? Just now... I do.

Actually... I've just seen the movie CLICK which stars Adam Sandler the other day. No it has nothing to do with me hating some things in life. Just with some situations. Like on some occasions when I said somethings bad, did some things wrong, or made bad choices.

Funny thing though, the remote control in CLICK can only show you things from your memory and not change them. It can fast forward you to your future but you have no control on the things happenning. Its not a time machine. You'll just later regret things you've done or said after seeing them in play-back. And just like that... it'll just hit you hard that you can't do anything after pressing that 'play-back' button.

If I had a chance to go back from that time... I would change some things. Like saying 'hello =]'. But I can't.

I'm sorry. I really am.

Back to basics -- What to expect living a normal life

2006-08-14T00:09:00.000+08:00

Now playing: Just Feel Better - Santana feat. Steven Tyler of Aerosmith

Tomorrow, I officially go back to living as a normal human... err... entity. (Sorry I haven't considered myself human from the way I've been behaving for the last few months.) Mostly I've been an ass and have been driving people away for no apparent reason. Let's just say I was in that "FSCK OFF!!!" moods that I usually get into.

Back on topic. What's there to expect? Going back to being a day-crawler (Yep, the type of entity who crawls rather than walk through the day. And I'd rather crawl off my bed than walk away from it.) I'm a bit skeptic at going back to "normal" living. I feel that there's a lot of things to catch up to. News, socializing, poverty, the day-to-day rantings of incompetent citizens that I will be encountering, politics... this should be interesting.

I'm a bit of blank today. So much things to think of. So much things to plan for. I'll prolly make a list of what I should do for the next few days. If I get lucky, I might finally get that credit card I've been applying for. All for the sake of fulfilling the need to buy the *cough*updates*cough* of a certain MMO. >:D

Gawd I need to do a lot of things for this month's 2nd half... And I have to do it alone... =.=

A normal life? A simple life? Maybe not. They've just given me the thing they'll regret the most... letting me live during the daytime. >:D

Time to wreack some havoc... And that's going back to basics. >:D

Buying social skills (I'm dead serious) -- 1337 gaming skills useless in iRL

2006-07-29T01:29:00.001+08:00

Now playing: Hana - Orange Range

I was dumbfounded after seeing a midget get personal specifics from this hot nursing student while I was inside one of those local internet gaming hubs. The midget ushered the young lady to one of those pc units in that shop. He introduced himself and politely asked the young lady if he can have her name and mobile number if it wasn't too much. Guess what he got? The girl's full name (name and last name included), the girl's mobile phone number, and her email address for friendster!!

So I changed my status message on my YM saying "Buying social skills, PM offers". A friend of mine whom loves playing MMOs and RPGs obliged to play along with the status. Here 's our conversation:

Seller: kano mo buy
Seller: bentahan kita
Me: offer ka
Seller: ikaw po offer
Me: accept ko best offer
Seller: hmm...
Me: 50k?
Seller: nope po
Seller: so far po best offer is 3.7m + sports car yung red
Me: hmm...
Me: wala bang discount?
Me: i'll buy in bulks
Seller: hmmm
Seller: 2% dc po
Seller: baba pa lang level ko e
Me: hmm ano ba level meron ka?
Me: kung high level yung social skills mo, i'll be willing to pay more than you're pricing
Seller: high level
Seller: pure social skills build ako e
Seller: kaya mababa lang yung dc skills ko
Me: wala kang bartering skills?!
Seller: yoko na haha
Seller: nood muna ako

Well, the seller wasn't able to sell me some. And he left me to watch a set of One Piece anime episodes! Anyone have some social skills on sale? >:D

I'll just try to be happy. Afterall... this is my day. =]

2006-07-18T02:27:00.000+08:00

Now playing: 3 Libras - A Perfect Circle

If only everyone would know what I'm thinking right now.

It never occured to me that I would feel like this on this particular day. Strange. I already told myself I'd be calm, happy and not irate for this day. Well... guess having to feel this way's better than being bubbly and still be able to scare the living daylights out of everyone.

Komakai koto ha ki ni suru na.

A japanese phrase which I found while surfing the net for web comics. It means "Don't worry about the little things". But then again, sometimes its those little things that really bothers you a lot.

I might have put up that strong-unfaltering-asshole image for myself for everyone to see. Still, one can only take so much.

Having been accused of something you have not done drew the last line. Still you try to be civil, and answer to it on a professional level.

And it made me think for a second there. If only I had that ammount they're allegedly imposing that was bribed to me. Then maybe I would've changed somethings in my life.

What things? These things:

I would've been already married to the mother of my child.
My kid would've already been baptized.
We would've moved back to my wife's home town and live somewhere there. I'd just go home to my relatives' residence in Manila or to my friend's house in Marikina during my work week and go home to the province during my rest days.
Lastly, I would've been able to keep my mother alive.

I wanted to scream. Hide in one of the corners of our office and just cry. But then, I know I shouldn't.

I'll just try to be happy. Afterall... this is my day. =]

Komakai koto ha ki ni suru na...

Sick, beat and wasted, but still satisfied -- What a way to start July

2006-07-04T00:39:00.001+08:00

Now playing: Disease (Acoustic) - Matchbox 20

Its a wonder what some idiots can do for you while you lie helpless in bed. I happen to have 1 for my younger brother and 2 more for a pair of cousins. They happen to be claiming as the "Tatlong Itlog" (three eggs) group in our little room that we stay in within my grandma's recidence.

Well... It's like this, I was sick of fever (or was it flu), that I barely got the strength to move myself from the bed I'm resting on. I was beaming up the heat stick to a very comfortable 39.1°C to an even more comforting 40.8°C. How I got that? lets just say I was dumb enough to follow my bad little habbit of flushing out fever by taking a shower. So I ended up curled under the sheets for a miserable day. Thinking I was better after that day, I went to work and ended up sick after the shift so spent another few hours feverish during the next morning. Someone really messed up on sending me that friggin flu as a joke. I almost thought of asking to be sent to the hospital because I barely got to breathe properly while I was sick in bed.

Niwei, let's go back to topic. Still feeling sick, beat and wasted, I was trying to get some shut eye yesterday morning but my younger brother and our 2 cousins were discussing nothing but nonsense. I had to put up with all that. So here comes a topic... About what part of the body is the strongest? Our younger cousin pointed out 2 things from the body, one is the finger, the other is the tongue. My younger brother demanded an explanation, and so our other cousin, the one who asked the question obliged to give the necessary explanation, he then said something like this,

"With your finger you can lift a woman's body but only by some inches, use your tongue and she'll lift her whole body as high as she can. You won't need any effort other than using your tongue"

And the mindless discussions didn't end there, though there were some sensible discussions about food and better topics, they never run out of those malicious discussions. Oh and they were talking about this with my wife around. They just tell her that those were facts, and that we are mature enough to discuss things to our own disgression. Well... for one thing, they do make some sense. LOL!

And my wife says that's all those idiots do during the day since they have absolutely nothing to do. Damn bastards should get jobs or something. XD Still, it was a good way to pass time. Though some topics were considerably senseless, it still pays to just watch idiots amuse you in ways you won't expect.

What a way to start the month.

Just a short something for June -- It's good to remember

2006-06-05T21:52:00.001+08:00

Now playing:

This one's for you. Coz I know how you like 'ol pops playing the guitar for you. Same as you like me playing a little tune of my own. =]

Tommy Emmanuel - Angelina

Happy birthday mom. We miss you. We hope you're okay. If you could only see us now...

We still love you. =]

Thoughts of Inconsistency -- The only May entry(?)

2006-05-20T22:51:00.001+08:00

Now playing: Straight-jacket Feeling - The All-American Rejects

A feeling of inconsistency... Troubling... Just when you think you're good as you are you got those "What if?" thoughts comming in.

I really think I shouldn't write about these things but a few hints would probably ease my mind. Its just that sometimes, you get to think that "some things are better left unspoken". Unsaid, untouched, not to be discussed. It'll only make you confused. Or crazy if it gets a lot worse.

Its just that I'm feeling those "What if?" thoughts comming in more frequently than those "This is what I should do" thoughts. Thoughts like

"What if I said something like blah blah blah, just to clear up things?"

"What if I tell blah blah blah about blah blah blah? I just need an outlet."

But then again, doing so, I might hurt some people again. I might give the wrong impression out. Or they'd get the wrong impressions out of what I'm trying to say. I don't want to hurt them anymore. I don't want to go around in circles looking for the right time and words to say.

I guess I'm just looking for a proper closure. To deal with all this. Or end all this. Which ever's which.

I wish I could just say "I quit" then press "Reset" and re-do everything. That would be nice.

Another good week? -- Wash, Rinse, Repeat... And another blog quiz

2006-04-12T00:45:00.001+08:00

Now playing: Kokomo - The Beachboys

What have I been up to? Well... the title basically says what's I've been doing. Routinary? No comment.

I think I need to lay back a while... =.=;;

Well, the past weeks, or should I say the past month, as all the other months have always been, have been relatively slow. There seems to be nothing much to do these days. Just the usual chores, office work, do's and don'ts. You'd be amazed how similar each day in my life is.

How ever, there are those times when I sit back, do nothing, stare at nothing, and think of nothing... absolute bliss? For a fraction of a second, I'd have to say yes. I kinda find it priceless just do nothing since I've been doing a lot already. Its sooooooo tiring.... =.=

Some other things I so include the following:

1. Cooking, yesh, I'm cooking again.
2. Staying up to play an online game only to fall asleep after 30 minutes. Kinda stupid ain't it?
3. Taking care of my kid. Priceless. XD
4. Trying to finish that Tommy Emanuel acoustic cover of Bon Jovi's Livin' on a Prayer
5. Browsing on other people's blogs. Here's a good find An ode to Nice Guys from Anna Francesca Go. I wonder if that's her real name.
6. Scoop out oldies. Uhmmm... lemme rephraise that, old songs. And...
7. Trippin' on blog quizes. Here's one:

A well deserved description of my weapon of choice...

Staff
You preferred a weapon with 16% power over speed and 45% range over melee.

You use a Staff. Length is up to you-- perhaps you use a quarterstaff, a Jo, or a pair of Escrima, but you favor the intense speed and impressive versatility of a simple wooden stick. Effective staff fighters are effective at fighting many opponents at once, even ones armed with swords. Your opponents will rue the day they underestimated the potency of your weapon.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
You scored higher than 1% on power
You scored higher than 59% on range

Link: The What's Your Signature Weapon Test written by inurashii on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Other than this... it's wash, rinse and repeat.

Well... I guess that's all it. I'ma go back to No.2 for now. Let's hope I get to update a little more.

Entry 37, No title -- Last entry for March

2006-03-31T02:06:00.001+08:00

Now playing: Eye in the sky - Alan Parsons Project

Been out bumming for the month. Not that much has happened. Other than the usual 'take-care-of-the-baby' routine before work and during day offs. Its all plain wake-up, do house chores, run errands, do some more house chores, get ready for work, work, play a little, sleep in the office, wake up, go home, wash-rinse-repeat. Those sort of stuff.

Been seriously *eherm* working and trying to be patient and calm. All I can say is that March didn't feel like happening.

Niwei, listening to some oldies kinda payed off. One of my officemates had an assortment of mp3s which included the one playing right now. Made me think on some things (details will be posted some other day. I'm too bummed out to post details.)

Funny thing, this song kinda had some significant lyrics on it.

Eye in the sky
Alan Parson's Project

Don’t think sorry’s easily said
Don’t try turning tables instead
You’ve taken lots of chances before
But I’m not gonna give anymore
Don’t ask me
That’s how it goes
Cause part of me knows what you’re thinkin’

Don’t say words you’re gonna regret
Don’t let the fire rush to your head
I’ve heard the accusation before
And I ain’t gonna take any more
Believe me
The sun in your eyes
Made some of the lies worth believing

I am the eye in the sky
Looking at you
I can read your mind
I am the maker of rules
Dealing with fools
I can cheat you blind
And I don’t need to see any more
To know that
I can read your mind, I can read your mind

Don’t leave false illusions behind
Don’t cry cause I ain’t chnaging my mind
So find another fool like before
Cause I ain’t gonna live anymore believing
Some of the lies while all of the signs are deceiving

I am the eye in the sky
Looking at you
I can read your mind
I am the maker of rules
Dealing with fools
I can cheat you blind
And I don’t need to see any more
To know that
I can read your mind, I can read your mind

It's just funny how some lines from it reminded me of some things.

Anyway, let this serve as March's last entry.

Late entry!!! -- Gone last February

2006-03-21T01:55:00.001+08:00

Now playing: Jaded (Acoustic Version) - Aerosmith

Very very late update!!! T_T I was away for almost a month. Well, a month and a half to be precise.

I was really busy with life. And my life just got a lot busier.

Why? Here's why:

Yup! You got that one right, meet 'Little Tuna Caserole' in the flesh! LoL! I was just kidding. The kid's my son. And his name's not Tuna Jr. =P It's Keith Nigale. Nickname, Kiel. =P

The picture above was taken a week after he was born. Right now, he's already a month old.

Some more pics:

Sleeping... He looks like an angel when he's sleeping. XD

Kiel with his mom. Hmm... just finished bathing?

Kiel with my grandma and my cousins Gio and Ella.

Best shot I took. Kiel giving a 'WTF are you looking at?!' expression. XD

Generally, the feeling's indescribable. The kid, he's good. ^^ Well, let me cut this short for now. Hopefully I'll be able to update in the comming weeks.

What D&D Character are you? -- Just another blog quiz. Nothing Special.

2006-02-10T20:59:00.001+08:00

Now Playing: Drive - Incubus

I Just took this test out of boredom. Nothing special to it. Posted it here. I just have a lot in my mind so I took the time to take this dang test. =.=

I Am A: Chaotic Good Elf Ranger Paladin

Alignment:
Chaotic Good characters are independent types with a strong belief in the value of goodness. They have little use for governments and other forces of order, and will generally do their own things, without heed to such groups.

Race:
Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently concern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance.

Primary Class:
Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.

Secondary Class:
Paladins are the Holy Warriors. They have been chosen by a God/dess to be their representative on Earth, and must follow the code of that deity, or risk severe penalties. They tend towards being righteous, but not generally to excess.

Deity:
Solonor Thelandria is the Chaotic Good elven god of archery and the hunt. He is also known as the Keen Eye, the Great Archer, and the Forest Hunter. His followers respect nature, and only hunt when needed, but are quick to defend the forest from intruders. Their favorite weapon is the bow, and they tend to be extremely talented with it. Solonor Thelandria's symbol is an arrow with green fletchings.

Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy of NeppyMan (e-mail)

Detailed Results:

Alignment:
Lawful Good ----- XXXX (4)
Neutral Good ---- XXXXXXX (7)
Chaotic Good ---- XXXXXXXX (8)
Lawful Neutral -- XX (2)
True Neutral ---- XXXXX (5)
Chaotic Neutral - (0)
Lawful Evil ----- (-3)
Neutral Evil ---- (-7)
Chaotic Evil ---- (-1)

Race:
Human ---- XXX (3)
Half-Elf - XX (2)
Elf ------ XXXXXX (6)
Halfling - (-3)
Dwarf ---- (-1)
Half-Orc - XX (2)
Gnome ---- XX (2)

Class:
Fighter - XXX (3)
Ranger -- XXXXXXXXX (9)
Paladin - XXXXX (5)
Cleric -- XXXX (4)
Mage ---- XXXX (4)
Druid --- XXX (3)
Thief --- (-4)
Bard ---- XXX (3)
Monk ---- (-1)

Open thoughts -- Missing the girl staring at the moon

2006-02-06T23:45:00.001+08:00

Now Playing: I Miss You (Acoustic) - Incubus

I'm just wondering... What next?

Its been days since I messed up my last talk with this girl whom I've grown to like. Actually, 'grown to like' is an understatement. Right now, she's very special to me. But just because I was stupid enough to say something I shouldn't have, it resulted to her actually avoiding contact with me.

How long has it been? 2? 3? 4 days since we last talked? I just hope we can talk. Just for once, or one last time.

And if I could get the chance to talk to you, I guess the only thing I can say is sorry.

I'm sorry that I said that.
I'm sorry that it hurt you.
I'm sorry I was careless.
I'm sorry I was tactless.
I'm sorry I wasn't thinking.
I'm sorry I tried to justify my reasons.
I'm sorry that it hurt you even more.
I'm sorry I tried to talk to you.
I'm sorry I kept on trying to talk to you.
I'm sorry I fell.
I'm sorry I loved you.
I'm sorry that I still do.
I miss you...

I'm just hoping. Just hoping on hope. Is it okay to ask? Will we ever talk again?

I Miss You
Incubus

To see you when I wake up,
Is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do,
Is a three-fold Utopian dream.

You do something to me,
That I can't explain.
So would I be out of line?
If I said "I miss you"?

I see your picture,
I smell your skin on the empty pillow
Next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days,
But already I'm wasting away.

I know I'll see you again,
Whether far or soon.
But I need you to know,
That I care and I miss you.

Baka baka baka baka!!! -- You stupid stupid fish!!!

2006-02-03T08:15:00.002+08:00

Now Paying: Nasan Ka - Pupil

And yes I am. Can somebody just shoot me dead now? Shin sou?!

What kind of an idiot tries to compare the girl he's falling for with his ex? Uhm... Someone named Tuna Caserole or thinks he's Tuna Caserole?

I don't know what got into me, how stupid was I to have ever asked her to take her head band off so I could tell if she does look like my ex. Uhm... maybe I shouldn't have done such a thing.

Note to self:

When you get home, try to look for a wall where you can bash your head on.

You stupid fish!!!! >.<

Sigh... So stupid. But know what's frustrating, its that she won't even give you a chance to explain yourself. Yeah I know I acted a little weird from the start of the day, but I just have a lot to think about. The fact that I'm still together with my ex bothers her. The fact that I introduced my ex to my family kinda meant that some things might happen in the future. Or so she assumed.

Reason why I was acting weird, is because I'm scared of being hurt. Afraid that one of these days, she, the girl I'm falling for will head back to the US. I'm scared that she's scared of letting her own feelings get the best of her. Which I think won't happen. She knows what she wants that it leaves me completely clueless to what she's thinking. So I was just thinking, should I back off or not? What else to I have to do now?

I took the risk. I f*cked up. Now all hell broke lose. Again. Can someone just shoot me?

February -- What to expect this month? Good turn out? Unfamiliarity? What?

2006-02-02T23:29:00.001+08:00

Now Playing: Each Day With You - Nyoy Volante & Mannos

Its already February... What should I expect on this month? o_O

To start off, Feb's a good month. Aside from Valentine being just around the corner, its a quiet month. For me it is. No hassles what so ever. Though there were bumps before January ended, February had this kind of calm breeze. Calm... makes me wonder, will this be a good month?

A good thing about Feb is that I got to introduce my ex to my family. Well, my mother's side of the family at the least. Uhm... why did I do that? Well, she's the mother of my/our soon to be born child. Though we agreed to some circumstances concerning us, we're not denying the fact that we are the child's parents and our family deserves to know our well being. Funny thing, my grandmom and aunts were speechless when they saw her. But after a few minutes, they got to ask how well she was doing with the child. Those were just casual conversations but I know they're glad to see her in good condition. And to have finally met the girl I used to be with. I already told my grandmom about me and my ex's situation so she didn't ask her anything anymore. Honestly, I dunno what she's thinking right now. Not even her, but also, what my aunts and uncles are thinking. Its nothing hard on me, just thinking what they'd say. Since some of them already know of our situation and what we(me and my ex) agreed upon. Something I wait and see when I get home later today. Enough about that.

And I got to get home... err... visit Lucena after god knows how long. Anyway... I arrived at our house around 2:00 AM. Reason for this is because I fell asleep on the bus and woke up on the RORO station. Heck, I was scared the boat might ride one of those things and end up somewhere I don't know. But the driver assured me we'd leave back for the highway after a few minutes. And we did. Back to the house, I had to sneak in on my uncle's front gate to get to our house. And not just that I had to walk from where the bus dropped me off all the way to our place. Well, I did get to chomp on something that the local fast food outlet has to offer. Again again again... back to the house. After sneeking in from the front gate, I had to knock my dad to wake up and open the door for me. And boy was he surprised. So just that. I was back at home, and my dad pointed out how clean he made the house. Guess what, he threw out everything I kept. I mean, all the things I saved back from highschool. Certificates, sketches that could be rendered as my portfolio. All gone. Not to mention the whole series of posters from the whole publication of Culture Crash Comics which were all autographed by their writers and owners. Well what's lost is lost. Too bad for me.

Now what more to expect this month... More I guess.

Fire in the hole!!! -- The best and worst day for this week

2006-01-30T02:47:00.001+08:00

Now Playing: I miss you - Blink 182

Well, to sum it all up, a lot of things could happen in a day. Sometimes it starts good, then ends bad. And sometimes, it starts bad, and ends good. In my case... It was bad, to good, to bad, to good. Thank god the day's ended.

It started with me going home from work. Of course, I should've been home around 1AM after shift. But it was so hard to get home from the office somewhere in Makati to where I currently stay in Parañaque. Thing is, I just sleep in the office after shifts and go home the next day. Then take a nap before going back to the office.

The day started out bad. As I said, bad because I had to go home alone, endure a long line of commuters and an almost 1000 meter walk from the MRT station to the jeepney station. I didn't get to eat breakfast (and dinner for the last night's shift) so I'm a little pissed at the fact that I have to leave early for Batanggas.

At home, I was greeted by my grandma, who had just celebrated her birthday durung the last night and had a lot of stories about what happened while I was out on work. Well, I actually thought I missed all the fun. But since my cousins were awake, they dragged me along back to our grandma's room for breakfast. By the way, I already ate before I decided to go upstairs and take that nap I so longed for after that exhausting trip. So come down back to the room. This time, we were waiting for lunch. And during that time, we were only teasing eachother on some mature/wholesome/sarcastic jokes. And so, the first part of the day was from bad to good.

After lunch, I had the chance to take a nap (which to my dismay only laster 15-20 minutes because it was so darn hot in our room). Awakened by the room temerature, I decided to take a bath and tidy up for my trip to Batanggas. But since everyone was planning on leaving for Novaliches, the dang bathroom had a line on it. And I had no choice but to go back to the room and try to take a longer nap. And I thought that was bad... just as I was about to fall asleep, in come my cousin who says the bathroom's now free. Talk about bad timing. -.- And so I went down (again) and got to take my ever so anticipated bath. Refreshed, I came out dressed up and took the trip to Batanggas. On the way, I almost got hit by 2 trucks, a passenger jeepney, an L300 van, and a service tricycle for a water refilling station(?). It wasn't because I was absent mined, I was just walking and minding my own way, then I realize I was inches away from death. -.- Talk about bad day. Major bad day. -.-

The trip to Batanggas, I was supposed to talk to my ex's folks for the plans on our little bundle of joy's future. Thing is, my ex texted me to not go straight to their house and wait for her on a fastfood establishment because she wanted to stand beside me while we deliver out plans to her folks. Much to our expectations, actually, we expected them to just be at home, but we arrived at their place, with her dad, having a small drinking session with his brother. It was only the two of them so we might as well talk to the dad. Since the mom already said that the dad's the only one who can decide on our little proposal. I dunno if it was because he was tipsy or a little drunk that he woudn't comprehend the simplest thing we say, (actually he kinda grilled me when I said I wanted to provide support for my ex and the kid) we were just asking for their consent. Rather, his consent to allow me to be recognized as the child's father. He just blurted out something like,

"Do you think that financial support is enough to save the shame you gave us? You've already destroyed our pride the moment you didn't want to agree with the marriage."

Uhm... I wasn't stomping on their pride. But I understand how much he wanted to kill me that time because I am (as others say) running off from my ex. Which apparently isn't true. Me and my ex already agreed that we are to bring up the kid on our own. But since she's living under her folk's roof, we had to consult the matter with them. Which... the answere above pertained to. It was a good thing that her uncle (her dad's brother, of course) understood what we wanted to propose.

We just wanted the child to know that he never lost both parents. We only wanted the child to know that he/she has a father or a dad, (which is me) whom he/she can blame in the future if his/her life f*cks up. We wanted the child to know that he/she has parents that care for him. Though me and my ex might not get back together, we agreed on this. And this is what we think is best for the kid. Well, our talk didn't last that long. We had to resign to the fact that her dad kinda understood, and still can't decide on the situation because he just doesn't like the thought of me not putting up for the crap I've given them. I had to go home looking forward to the day when we'll get to talk a little more calm over the matter (with no beer of course). I also thanked my ex's uncle for seeing my point and kinda understanding what we wanted for the kid. I left after I said my thanks and wished that I'd get a chance to talk to my ex's dad again before she gives birth.

So that's bad to good to bad... the last good thing is, I got to update my blog's template. Thank you Blogger Templates.

That's just it. Oh and yeah... I missed talking to her.

Anyway... FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!! XD

On familiar grounds -- It comes to a full circle

2006-01-28T22:16:00.001+08:00

Now playing: New Tatoo - Urbandub

And now I'm back to where I used to stand. Back on familiar grounds. It turns to a full circle.

Just when I thought everything else will change... I find myself standing back on familiar grounds... on shattered grounds. Shattered grounds... just when I thought I was already on stable grounds, I later realize that what I'm standing on had then again gave on and sunk.

There's actually two people making me feel that I am on the same grounds I used to be before. And these are their words:

"I often wonder how would it really feel to labor for hours, swetting buckets, screaming at the top of my lungs and swearing Kenny to hell. I sometimes think of what our baby's gender is *btw, I haven't had ultra sound pa eh, I thought if he'd look like his father or me and if he'd be as pasaway and stubborn as I am or be as determined and calm like his father.. but I don't really mind aslong as he/she is healthy."

↑ The girl I just broke up with...

“I’m sorry… I know how you feel, believe it or not I do. I’ve walked in those shoes. I’m so sorry to cause you so much pain. Especially now, just when you needed him most. I’m so sorry…”

↑ And the girl close to me right now...

Now where should I stand? I'm practically back to a place I was avoiding to be in. And it sucks for me to know that I can do nothing but wait till it ends. And on what ever result... I'll still stand on what I'm assuming to be my most stable ground... Just leave things as they will be.

What will be will be. Be it good or bad. If it will be good, good. If bad, no regrets. Que sera, sera.

I'm just wondering... Will these circles meet and form links? Paths to where ever they may lead? Perhaps... things only left to be seen someday. Another one on the grill.

Regret(?) -- What more is there to say?

2006-01-19T05:09:00.001+08:00

Now playing: Empty Apartment - Yellowcard

If you did what you wanted to do, and said what you wanted to say, would you be happy after all is said and done? Would you change anything if it didn't work out the way you expected it?

Ironic. When you least expect something to happen, a sudden change always takes place. And what's more ironic, is that you thought you have absolute control over yourself. Actually you do. But you're trying to fight temptation to do something more to worsen the situation.

We all know its never good to do things 'fast paced'. Yet that's what happened. All too fast... all too spontaneous... but then again... reality bites. And once again, it bites hard. And painful.

Maybe I'm just confused, worried, because I can't do anything to undo what I did. But hell... what was I supposed to do? I'm not regretting I took the chance of admitting what I felt. Saying what I want to say, doing what I did, but I didn't expect all this to happen. Maybe I did. But not like this.

In my case... Its hard. Its hard that I know I want to do something, but I'm not in a position to do it. Its hard that I know I might be a reason for something she'll do if she changes her mind. I knew that it was not right, but it was not wrong either. It wasn't right because it happened too fast. It wasn't wrong because I didn't intend for anything bad to happen. We both didn't intend for anything bad to happen. Nevertheless... something bad did happen. One of us pulled back. I want to press on... but I feel like backing off the same way she does. It would be a lot more painful if I'd face the fact that the more I pressed on, the more she'd hold back. As so a lot of people told me. What more can I say? What more can I do?

I was told to back off. Hold my emotions. Not to give in. Try to be mindful of what I say and do. Yet I didn't. I took the chance of admitting it all. I 'jumped in'. Though I know I'd be hurt. Or it might not end as one might assume it should end. And it sucks to know that it will hurt a lot more. And it will. Though I know that I won't be in a scenario where I tell myself that "I should have done that...", but it still makes me think why the hell I did it? Why didn't I hold back? Why? If only it could all be answered.

Regret? Maybe I am regretting. Regretting that I'm in another situation where I can't control the outcome. But I'm not regretting I took the chance.

I need to rest... yeah... maybe that's it. I just need a breather. To clear my thoughts. Messed up? Probably. But sitll there's no way to find out if I didn't allow this to happen.

Regret? What's more to say? Everythings said. What's done is done. Take a deep breath. And just enjoy the ride.

Holding grounds -- The turning of the pages

2006-01-14T03:57:00.001+08:00

They say... all things have their ends. And so shall a page turn. For when it turns, it will mark the beginning of a new chapter. And for one who was so soul burdened for all his eternity, there is no absolute bliss that can compare to when he takes back and holds control over his destiny...

The past year has been very hard. Too hard that I lost sense to where I was supposed to go... What I was supposed to do. And so I decided to be the one on top of my life for this year. For months, I have been contemplating, reflecting, and looking back at all the things I might have done. A day did not pass that I never took the time to keep silent for a few minutes, and think. And it was tiring. Exhausing even. It almost came to a point that my body could not cope up with the pressure that my mind has been keeping. Resulting in sleepless nights... meal-less days... and fatigue that almost sent me bed ridden. I'd have to be thankful that though I was under pressure, my body can still sustain itself beyond abnormal conditions. Call it miraculous if we must. And the feeling of fulfillment is something you can never buy. The content and satisfaction of being able to regain the will to defy what is being set for you is something I can never describe verbally.

Piece of mind. After months of thinking, I finaly got what I deserved. My own piece of mind. Though it is not fully given to me. It satisfies me to have been able to live through the past harshness reality has been serving me. For once, I made it a point that I will be the one controling the situation. Not the situation controling me. Though its not that finished, I know that I will not be just following what other people dictates.

And so here it starts, I have decided to take matters to my own control. My doubts about my besfriend are now gone. All it took was a short straight talk. And it was good. I have cut the ties that binds me with my recent girlfriend. I knew I should've done it a long time ago to have not hurt her more in the process. But what's done is done. You cannot correct a mistake with another mistake. I will not run away from responsibility. It may now lie to what the last talk with her folks, but I have made up my mind. I'm now basically holding my grounds. To have said what I wanted to say, to have done what should have been done before... Satisfying.

And as the next days pass, I will be the one to control my destiny. I will be holding my grounds. I will not fall back. Falling back is not an option. Moving forward is the only thing that's important.

The pages have been turned...

Reflecting on still waters -- A rundown of 2005

2006-01-12T03:19:00.003+08:00

2005, probably the most influencial year for me. A lot of things happened to me during this year that I can say really changed and molded my mindset for this year.

First Quarter (January - March 2005)

There were a lot of ups and downs, crappy days and lengthy weeks and months. I almost lost my sanity coping on these weeks. As they said, "New Year... New beginnings..." and as expected, I didn't get the best of the first three months of the year. I almost lost it during these months. Too much thinking, too many things bothering me. A very disoriented first three months for the year. I was supposed to plan the year during this period, but I ended up getting planned for. I mean, I was literally pushed to my limit during these months that I almost lost grip with reality. How I wished this was the only bumpy ride for the year.

Second Quarter (April - June 2005)

Sanctuary. Thought a lot of serious things happend on this quarter, I had the comfort of getting some piece of mind. The long talks with Joe Gamer really paid off. Not just him. A lot of friends helped me cope from the "first quarter storm" I just had. And yes, it really helped. During these months, I was reflecting on why those things happened. I tried to look at all the sides of the story that it really gave me quite a relief that I took the time to rest. Quite an odd summer though, I got to be part of a tour for work. Yes, you read that right, a road trip for work. And it was a good one. And yes, a new hobby/game that I got really hooked in. Helped a lot in the coping stages. But it wasn't all good. Come summer, everything went back to the bumpy-rough ride. Hint, check the entry on April 30th.

Third Quarter (July - September 2005)

Escape. And yes this was the best part of the year for me. Not a care for anything. Which resulted in a more disorienting "last quarter". Actually it was more of that I tried to run from all of it. As I expected, my sanctuary won't last that long, and yes, come October that all my perceptions of having the last half of the year to be good just disappeared in an instant. Looking for an escape route was my only option, but my only option kinda backfired. So I'm back to my old worried self. Well, you can never run away from all your worries, sooner or later, they'll catch up on you. You'd just have to face the fact that you have to do something and face them all. One at a time to make it easier. And yes, it was quite a hard hitting period.

Last Quarter (October - December 2005)

Reflection. Despair. I was missing in action during this last quarter. My "running away" extended until mid fourth quarter. During my time of absence, I was merely reflecting on what I might have possibly done that caused this year to be almost unbearable. And the fact that a loved one was struggling for her hold on life made my thoughts a lot more uneased. Come that fateful date when she, my mom, passed away. Which signaled the "last draw". And yes, all the thinking and contemplating did come to full circle. I have already decided. And this comming year will mark the turning in my already almost miserable life.

The year that just passed, 2005, influencial, emotional, troublesome, yet fulfilling.

In memory of the most special woman in my life -- May she rest in peace

2005-12-28T04:02:00.003+08:00

Let this post be my last post for the year. Specially dedicated to my mom.

To the most special woman in my life...

From birth, you have been the very light that guided me. The very walls that surrounded me. In each and everyday, you watch over me. Until the day that I was capable of deciding for myself, you never failed to check up on me.

I know I've never been a very good son, but still you were there for me. I know I've never listened that much but still you kept on telling me what is right and what is not. I know I've never said how much I loved being with you and how much I enjoyed spending time with you.

I'll miss the days we've been spending on those "ukay-ukays" just tiring oursleves scavenging through their goods and not buying anything. I'll miss the days when we window shop on malls and just wish we had some spare cash to buy something for ourselves. I'll miss the days when we talk about nothing but cooking since we both love eating and making dishes. I'll miss the times when you pick on me for not singing to your videoke collections. I'll miss the times when you pick on my sketches and always pointed out that there's this wrong outline on it. I'll miss the times when I played the guitar for you during days when we had nothing to do. I'll miss the times when you order me to roast flour for another set of "polvoron" sweets you keep on making and giving out to everyone. I'll miss the home made peanut butter and the mazapan sweets you make for us whenever you feel like making them. I'll miss our road trips to your relatives and friends coz I'm the only one you can drag out from the house. I'll miss the vanity, the annoying and cute things you do to yourself and kept on bugging me if it looked good on you coz you think I give the most honest opinions. I'll miss the stories you tell about your youth, about the time you met dad, about how we, your kids were so different and so alike. I'll miss those childhood stories about me that you enjoy telling my friends whenever some of them comes over. In that way they'd know I'm such a momma's boy that always grovelled for your reach since I was a kid. Which you loved to tell anyway because we all know everyone enjoys a good laugh once in a while. And most of all, I'll miss you the most.

I'm sorry I didn't get to listen that much to everything you said. I'm sorry I didn't get to tell you everything about me. I'm sorry we never got to go out for the last time. I'm sorry I was afraid you'd be mad at me for doing all the things I've done. I'm sorry I didn't get to spend that much time with you. I'm sorry I didn't get to show you how much I cared. I'm sorry I never said I loved you that much. I'm sorry that I wasn't beside you when you took your last breath.

Thought it pains to lose a family member. You were the one who told me not to think about your situation. "Life must go on" as you said, and for you, we will move on. We just hope you know how much we'll be missing you. How much we love you.

And now that you have gone to a better place, I just wanna say, you're the best mom any kid could have.

In memory of the most special woman in my life.

You will always be remembered. I love you mom.

Elizabeth Ilagan y Carmelotes
Born: 5th June, 1959
Passed away: 20th December, 2005

Out of circulation -- A very complicated disposition in life

2005-10-09T02:50:00.001+08:00

Hmm... If my memory serves me right... I didn't have any posts for September. O_o"

Well the reason is similar with the title of this new post. I was literally out of circulation for the past month. And I think It will stay that way a lot longer.

It started out when everyone found out about my little secret. I don't want to talk about it here. I'm leaving it undisclosed as of the moment. Yes, things like these do happen in life. So its up to you to think it over.

Back to topic. The past few weeks or should I say the past few months have been relatively complicated. I had to go through a lot of struggels both emotionaly and psychologicaly. And if that's enough, try adding a little peer and work pressure to your already cramped up lifestyle.

Believe me its a miracle I'm still sane.

You get the occasional text messages from people you don't want to hear from. You get the occasional threats because of a possible outcome of what you might or might not do. You get the occasional bit*hing from your folks and their contiuous nagging. You get the occasional bit*hing of other people around you. You name it, you got it!

Well, I don't want to sound so idealistic but life's not like what it was before. Tough you want things done right, everything seems to make it go the other way. You end up confused in one full circle. And maintaining your sanity's the most important thing you should take in mind. To sum it up, everything just got more complicated.

And you start to wonder... What the heck did you do wrong?

We all know that life's hard. It gets harded if you try to live it alone. Well... on second thought... Life's really hard wether you live it alone or with someone. Despite the fact that you're not doing anything wrong, you still get tons of crap.

And will all those things happening in your life, you get lost. Lost in circulation. You can't seem to keep track of all the things happening. Thus your absence from other people's knowledge.

And that's when life gets a lot more complicated.

A Profitable Weekend -- Not advisable to be read by people eating infront of their PCs

2005-08-18T04:48:00.001+08:00

Well not literally, but the last weekend was really profitable. And take my word for it... Profitable.

The day was sunday, I got home from work and wanted to do nothing but bum around and stay away from anyone's reach. To my surprise, James, my housemate decided to stay home and do the same. We had nothing left to do but stare at the picture tube of our living room TV and oogle at what our cable-less recreation system has to offer.

Then we decided to do the unthinkable. James had been pointing out that our room air conditioning unit hasn't been working properly. Well... from my point of view, it cooled the room to my satisfaction. He was sure that the evaporator had frost build ups and a good maintennance would do the thing. We agreed to pull down the unint and gove it a good bath. While we were figuring out how to pull down the dang thing, James took a scredriver and unscrewed the cover of the air-con's front pannel, revealing a damp... or should I say, a rather wet car radiator-looking evaporator. And heck did it really look like one. All black in dirt and looked like tar would pour out the dang thing. We removed all the styro-pore boards that blocked the seams of the unit from the wall before we pulled the unit down. And yes, something did pour out. Water from god know's where. >_<

We got to pull out the unit from the wall and bring it down to the lower floor of our house. And I friggin looked like a caveman after that. All dustied, and some of my body was covered with grease like dust that rubbed off the unit. Still in awe, I asked James when the unit was first cleaned. With a wide grin on his face, he chuckled and said, "just now... lemme count... it was 2 years after it was put up there... haha!" And guess what, that fact did show us what we expected. And revealed a lot more... (This part you have to skip if you're eating... believe me... >_<)

We hosed the whole unit to give it a good cleaning. Not all of the dirt rubbed off so James had to brush it using a worn out tooth brush. And guess what happened when we tilted the stupid thing... TAR!!!! as thick as jello slided from its chassis. And it wasn't a pretty sight. >_< So much for that. After we were done with the cleaning, we brought the unit out front of the house. We just laid it under the scorching sun so it'd dry up.

I slept after this and woke up with James and our other housemates dragging the unit and sticking it back to the wall. As soon as it was back and the seams were sealed, James turned the unit on to see if it would still work. Oh yeah... I forgot to mention that we panicked because we directly hosed the unit. We cleaned the dang thing thought we don't know what we're doing. XD And yes... The unit worked normally. Thank god it did. Or we might resort to natural air-conditioning. >_<

A very profitable weekend indeed.

Oh by the way, I am aware that I haven't updated my blog for... hmm... almost a month? o_O and I only put an entry per month.

How much of a gamer are you? -- The ballance between ingame and irl

2005-07-25T03:38:00.000+08:00

I am 57% Video Game Addict.

Video games are a big portion of my life, maybe too big of a portion. They are not a means of social interaction, despite what I might think. I should just go outside.

Take the
Video Game Addict Test
@ FualiDotCom

And yes!!! I'm still a normal person!!! I'm not yet a nerd!!!

Well... just a rundonw on what really happened on the last month. I was mostly out in the field scoping out places to with high end PCs and kickass internet connection.

And did I find one? Yup. But the only problem was the expense. Still looking for some. And more games to be played.

Having no time left to kid around really kills gametime. But, we can still say it's worth it.

IRL blog update will follow soon.

I just wish I get bored and just blog.

Standing over the edge of time -- Its another "ordinary" new year

2005-07-17T23:19:00.001+08:00

As of 1 AM PST, I am officially... err... do I have to say my age? o_O

Well... here's an overview of the past *ehem* year.

1. Crap
2. More crap.
3. Even more crap.
4. More crap still.
5. Another load of crap.
6. A tub-load of crap.
7. An unbelievable ammount of crap.
8. When will crap end?
9. Holy crap! It's my *cough*...
10. >_<"
11. Need I say more?
12. Crap.

Well... to tell you the truth... having to age another year "almost" feels like not aging at all. But during the last few weeks... (and though I failed to update my blog for a month) I've been constantly thinking of how I'll be able to change? Change for better, not for worse of course. But for some reason... I don't really feel any change at all. Its just an ordinary day. And like all of them ordinary days... its still crappy. Recently I've been up and doing a lot of things. Some about work, some for family, some for myself, some for other people, there's just too many things to do. And everyday something new comes up and you have to do what there is to match with the changes. Or in some... situations. Just asking... is there anything new there? So many things have happend for the last couple of months. I almost got hospitalized for fatigue. But heck, I'm an Ox (just an expression) for Pete's sake! "Batu!!! Iston!!! Sidimintary!!!" <-- Laff trip XD

Honestly, having to age for another year really doesn't rub off like those silver things on cell cards and electronic loads. More than that, It never did change. You just end up doing the same old things again and again... and again... and again... Makes you think... Where is the edge of time?

It's just another "ordinary" day. In another "ordinary" year. In your "ordinary life". In this case... "my ordinary life".

I just love my fish tank! XD

It's been a month already? o_O -- I was just busy

2005-06-28T04:41:00.002+08:00

Crap! That's all I can say. T_T

The last few *ehem* weeks or should I asy month since my last entry was soooooooooo~~~ dang long. Exhausing that it comes to a point that I can almost see myself dropping dead the next day. But I don't. And I'm glad about it. Since no one would want a dead "you" around .

And yes... I've just been REALLY REALLY busy.

Here's an image of what i've been up to lately.

(taken from the GuildWars website)

For those who visited this sad excuse for a blog... well... Let's all hope I get to update it this month. And I'll be posting what I ended up with in the last few weeks... err... month. =_=

And oh... I just remembered... I hate Mondays. >_<

About people -- Narcissists and the like (and another blog quiz)

2005-05-22T03:52:00.001+08:00

I've never seen someone so inlove with herself. And I kinda find it cute, funny and a bit too much at some point.

I just moved in to a friends boarding house. Yey! I'm not homeless anymore! And there I met this girl who's such a sight to see. She loves taking pictures of herself, whispering *but we can hear her whisper* "I'm so beautiful... I'm so cute..." and FYI, she is! XD

I know I've had friends whom without any hesitation say and claim that they're one heck of a looker. In which they mean they're soooo dang hot!!! (cough! >_< reality check... they're not! XD) Anyway... nothing beats this last one that I met. Well she's cute and all that crap, but seeing her and hearing her admire herself didn't sound like some people that I know... well... she did sound full of herself but no one seemed to mind that much. ;p maybe because she is what she is. Just from my point of view. Seeing someone like her admire herself in such a way kinda relieved me some stress... entertaining. XD

What is my seduction style?

Beats me... o_O but here's the result:

Your Seduction Style: The Natural

You don't really try to seduce people... it just seems to happen.
Fun loving and free spirited, you bring out the inner child in people.
You are spontaneous, sincere, and unpretentious - a hard combo to find!
People drop their guard around you, and find themselves falling fast.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

I really don't know about this... XD

In a Limbo -- Dante's Inferno Hell Test

2005-05-04T04:11:00.000+08:00

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Moderate
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Moderate
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Reaction:
In a Limbo. Maybe the fact that I'm going through a lot made me wallow so soundly in such a float. "There is no punishment here, the atmosphere here is peaceful, yet sad", and yes... it is so true.

Waiting for rain to pour -- Another one for the grill

2005-04-30T04:37:00.001+08:00

Lately... I haven't been myself. And it really sucks to know the fact that you are aware of it. Funny, I've always told myself that I won't regret anything I brought myself to do.

And I thought everything was going on so well. We agreed not to take matters out of hand. We were both reasonable when we ended it. But then again... I think I am not aware of my own actions.

Maybe I just can't resign to the fact that we just ended it. We still see eachother once or twice a month. We still talk, hang out, do all the things that we usually do. But I know I've been cold even before we gave up on everything we had.

But how would you react when you've found something between you're ex and someone... or in another instance... with some people? And learning these fact made you even think less of the possibilities of you and her getting back together.

You left each other thinking that there's still something there. But it needs to be rekindled. Needs to be reestablished, rebuilt. But you found out something. The question now is... who would you beleive? Everything now sounds like a lie. Those little compliments, every little thought of care, every simple expression of hope. Everything you thought you could rebuild, gone in a slip of words.

We all know that losing is painful. Losing a game sucks, losing a job is crap, losing in a bet is humiliating, losing a loved one hurts, losing someone you love is painful. Specially when you've given them everything you have.

And its even more painful when you learn that you've lost her to someone you know. And the fact that they hid it from you can definitely bring you to your knees.

Truth hurts. It does. It can even kill on an unreasonable basis. But realizing it was you at fault, and realizing it at the worst time possible beats the crap out of it. To top it up, you get the best comment of your life, it goes something like this, "I didn't cheat on you, I didn't deceive you, I never did. We're not even together anymore..." And to top it up, she said that while she's lying beside you.

The thing is... when you love someone... you give them everything you have. You give them time, you care for them, you give them consent, importance, love and of course, freedom. Loving someone doesn't mean you should be holding eachother by the neck and forcibly saying "You are mine and mine alone.." Yeah I admit I might have been like this at some point in time. But I've never nagged for attention. I gave everthing I could. I never asked for anything. And if I did, its not that much.

Another one for the grill...

Blog Quizzes?

2005-04-14T04:38:00.000+08:00

Take the quiz at dicepool.com

No use trying to fight it, you're an eight-sided die, a d8. A fine example of simple elegance, the d8 is one of the least appreciated types of dice, and is often neglected. You are known to be quiet and shy, outward traits that conceal viscous sarcasm and mean wit. You are very smart, yet wise enough to hide your intelligence the quicker they found out how smart you are, the sooner they'll put you to work, which is something you can do without. People call you dark and pessimistic, or moody and cynical. You find little point in arguing.

I don't think this is right. Maybe it depends on the mood.

Which Night Elf Hero Are You?

But what ever I do with this one... it always end up with the same answer.

Correct me if 'm wrong, but I really think the time and the state of mind that you have on taking a quiz like this determines the result. Anyway, it was still stress releiving.

Mistakes -- Live and Learn

2005-04-06T04:13:00.002+08:00

"Yes, make your "mistakes" early. ...and LEARN from them. So many people think they're better just because they went through it. Live AND learn.

Never forget the lessons.

It's not a guarantee that it'll never happen again, but it'll be a form of training to be able to handle the situation when it arises again." -- Joe Gamer

Mistakes are there for a reason. For you to repeat them. Get me? Wash, rinse and repeat. And for some reasons. I'm thinking that making a mistake is the only "right" thing to do.

I guess everyone would beleive me when I say, we learn from mistakes. And sometimes, we even regret making one.

It's already April. I should've posted this entry way back since March. Forgetting is one reason. Neglecting is another. But still, both of them are mistakes. Question is, "did I learn?"

The last few days have been really sore for me. I've never felt so down so low. It's like you're being pressed down by an unknown force and its keeping you from getting back on your feet. but then you realize, you made it happen, deal with it. You only realize after doing so.

But then again, when will we realize if we don't make a mistake?

Silence -- Very uneasy

2005-03-25T17:24:00.001+08:00

When you come to this state... Are you sane?

Uneasy. A feeling I usually get when I'm not in the mood to communicate. Well, to me that is. I wonder if its the same to others.

It was just one of those days that you think everything started out so well. You feel refreshed the minute you wake up. You feel the urge to do anything and everything for the day. But then again, something just comes in which alters all moods that have been preset for the entire day.

Silence. A moment of silence. Despite the noise around you, you stand aloof in the middle of everything. And you were convinced that the day will turn out great. Reality strikes hard and straight to the point. Right in between your eyes.

I guess I'm just not that fit to take everything in that fast. So many things, situations, instances, emotions, events, etc. You'd just break down.

I'm just alone. I guess. Maybe that's why.

Silence... solitude.

Losing grip, losing control -- Your sanity in question

2005-03-15T03:16:00.002+08:00

If there's anything someone would hate that much, that'd be to be the state of not being stable. In this case, not being able to control your own line of direction.

Oh yesh... *sarcasm =_="

As I lay still in my ever so stirred up murky watered fish tank, I realize somethings, there are just some times when you think you're losing grip. And yes, it sucks to know that you have no control over your sad excuse for your own life.

Oh I just remembered, I haven't vented out on some issues happening to my blasted life. >_< "Your SANITY is in question".

And for who knows how long all this crap will last you? 10 lifetimes? 20 even. And what the heck can you do about it?

Here's a few things I've been doing:

1. Stay up late. Have an intelligent conversation with someone. Well, not to a point where you argue about the truth on the "moon landing". =_=" That's way too insane.
2. Listen to an assortment of "feel good" music. Works most of the time. Specially when you're just about to blow up.
4. Go out and take a trip to memory lane.
5. Sleep all day. Nothing beats this one. A real classic.

And since I'm here, I just wana say that people don't break down, machines do. Hey wait, I just did. XD

Unwound and unbound -- Trip to memory lane

2005-02-27T04:43:00.001+08:00

Nostalgia... That sweet poison everyone seems to drink every once in a while.

And I had my fill. XD

I never new staying at home on a weekday can be so stress releiving. All i did was slouch on a sofa, have a few bags of chips beside me, hold the TV remote control, and mindlessly surf along the channels. And guess what I ended up with? Two full hours of clay animated cartoons and a few episodes of "Care Bares". XD

Now that's nothing you see everyday. Imagine a cuople of 20-year old oogling at the colored clay figures and humming along with the "Care Bares" openning song. Sounds funny? Its called reality my friend. And I'm not denying the fact that I enjoyed every last minute of that two-hour kiddie marathon which showcased "Little People", "Pingo" and "Care Bares". Oh I forgot, I had a dose of "Mr. Bean" afterwards.

That really chipped off a few blocks off my slightly drained spaghetti-like brain. Really swell. That was the best 2 hours of my sick excuse of a life. Having to remember those childhood days. Err... I just remembered... I'm supposed to be a fish. o_O

But for real... take my word for it. Have a day spent on nothing but kiddish animation. You'll thank me you did. ^_^

In comes in one side, out goes on the other

2005-02-23T03:37:00.001+08:00

My last blog update was when? o_O

I've been trying to squeeze time to get back here and collect my thoughts. I landed a bit late I think.

Having been through a lot of deep sh*tty situations, I finally land back and think of what I've been doing for the past couple of weeks. I've been abusing my self to a point that I almost dropped dead on a curb. Having been deprived of proper sleep and rest, I resort to a few things where I gained a lot of very well said comments from friends.

Here's a few:

1. Are you crazy or something? Or you're just playing dumb?
2. What good does that do to you? Think straight man!
3. Okay so here's where you are... And what do you think you should do...
4. Y'know, you're just !
5. Shut the f*ck up! <-- my personal favorite.

And guess what, they've been saying that for quite some time now. Do I listen? Yep. I do. Everything they say comes in here *points the left ear* then leaves here *points on the right ear* and then it hits me hard... here *points at the back of the head*

Have I been a little more carefree I would've been sent to one of those places called... err... I forgot what its called. =_=" Well I slammed my face a lot of times on my friends ever so trusty bed that's inside one of his house's rooms that are left unoccupied. Oh yeah... I've been working my ass off... Hence sermons galore. Do this, do that... err... I'm just tired. But I'm still up and doing what should be done. Not a routine. And I'm not insane. *Insert Nicholas Cage saying "we're one step close from insane... we're passionate"*

And if there's anything I have to say, its that I do these things because I want to. */sarcasm*

Insane? nah... its passion.

Six sides, six colors, nine pannels a side

2005-02-09T05:06:00.001+08:00

The Rubik's Cube.

Despite the fact that I'm wallowing in my stirred up murky watered fish tank, trying to wash my thoughts out (which is a fact that I am mot enjoying =_=), I'm still troubled by my previous actions. Which resulted to me picking up this contraption called the Rubik's Cube.

Six sides, six colors, nine pannels a side. Turn each and every side, flip, rotate, switch and swatch the colors. But did you ever wonder? Why you could fix it or why you can't? The thing is, it has a pattern. It has this thing that you should follow. I'm not going to refer to it as a rule. Rather, let's call it a method. A type of counting and manner of how you hold it.

Odd? Its what I've been lacking. My grasp of things hasn't been that firm. Even my methods are a bit astray. It's just not working for me. And I have no idea why I'm being so unstable. And I haven't been myself lately. Insane? Nope. Just deranged. Too much to think about. Too many to consider.

Back to the cube. If only everthing can be rearranged. If only everything can be moved, switched, shifted, turned. Then maybe, we wouldn't have to be so stuck to our problems.

Yeah, that'd probably be the thing. It might just straighten my intricately diminished excuse for intelect. Well of course that'd lighten up the pressure other than the tank blowing bubbles in my oh so uncomfortable tank of possibilities.

And yeah, the cube's meaning did kick in after a few rounds of twisting and turning. And yep, it made my splitting headache worse. >_<

Tell the truth -- Face the consequences

2005-02-07T02:49:00.001+08:00

You'll either make it better or make it worse.

When you're asked a simple question, you sometimes give a complex answer. Sometimes you even lead them to falcity. Most of the times you resort to silence, and not telling.

We know that telling the truth will do good. We know that it will help benefit a cause. But sometimes the truth just isn't the right thing to say. The truth hurts those we care for. When we least expect it to hurt them. The more it hurts them. And the more we realize that we shouldn't have said anything. We shouldn't have said the truth.

The reason I'm bringing this up is because it troubles me to have said the truth. It troubles me to know that I've made another stupid mistake in my already stirred up fish tank. And knowing that I did the unthinkable, I think I'm in for a lot of bubbles along my murky watered aquarium.

Truth? Is it really good to tell the truth?

This is where it all begins. You told the truth. Deal with it.

Cramming -- We do it everytime

2005-02-06T03:41:00.001+08:00

Go, young grasshopper, Try out your wings!

"You already left your comfort zone, to what end? It's like leaving home for a journey. You leave behind the safety and security of your abode, but in exchange, you can live out new experiences and meet new people.You've already walked out the door. Don't waste time standing in front of your porch. Do something. You already made the first step of your journey, the first step outside your 'home'. Now, what are you going to do? Wait, don't answer yet. Think. Think... while I sleep... ^_^" -- Joe Gamer

Well, he said everything all right. =_= The only thing left to do now is whether to take the trip, try out the wings and see a whole new world, or stay at home and slouch in that comforting beanie bag.

It just so happens that you can't decide. You do want to take the risk but you're just pulled behind by the fact that you might regret what you'll be doing in the long run. And sometimes when think, we stop and think again before we act, we end up cramming instead of deciding. Why? Because you can't decide. Why? Because you just can't

I guess its in our nature to think a lot other that acting without thinking.

"Cramming life can suck worse than cramming for a test." -- Joe Gamer

Yeah, he's right. But we do enjoy cramming. I remember putting up a Y!M status that said, "Why is it that a lot of people love to do things at the last minute?" And you know what? Almost everyone online in my list at that time reacted. Some of their reactions included, "Because the pressure makes us think better." Maybe. But it doesn't apply to everyone.

Lastly, maybe we do love to cram all our life. Maybe it does help us think. And maybe, if we just think a lot more. We might end up with the right answers.

Cram 'ala proota anyone? ^_^;

Adobo or Karekare? -- When you think twice

2005-02-02T05:49:00.001+08:00

More options, more problems. This is what happens when you don't act like yourself.

I've never had conversations that lasted for days. In this case, it lasted for a few weeks. I talked to a lot of people and heard a lot of things. It included the analogy above. Funny, I never saw it that way. It might not make sense but if you ask me. It gave me a clear view on how to think straight. Well, how to think straight again, at the least.

Okay, so the past few days were so damn long, tiring, and slow. maybe that's the reason I felt low at some point. Low, in a sense that I want to take time off from everything. Time to think back and review what I've been doing for the past year. I know I should've done this before this year started. But it was just now that it hit me. Am I doing things because I really want to do them?

Someone told me, "everyone has their 'off days', this is just your time." At first I didn't know what he meant, but after I talked to another friend. I understood what 'off day' meant. Its not because you don't want to do something, its because you want to play safe. Which is not a good thing to do.

I am aware that I always give way for other people instead of giving way for myself. I know its good but its still bad for my part because I take away my own chance to be satisfied. In this case they say I suck at it. That's why I get into deep thoughts all too sudden. I should atleast give myself a chance to have what's should be mine.

Okay drop that topic. New topic, adobo or karekare? I know this sounds funny but it actually makes sense. Example, you like to eat adobo and you eat it everyday. But then you get fed up and tired of eathing the same thing all the time. You then find another thing on the menu. You tried it and got satisfied. Then you tried to get back to eating adobo. After eating karekare, you didn't get tired eating adobo anymore. Now why do you think this is so? Because you had a change of taste. Rather, you had something that brought back the taste of something you almost got tired of.

To cut the story short, you need to add spice to your life to make it more worth spending. In this case you had to chose between two things. But its not always that easy. What if there's something inside you that just won't let you decide?

Its hard to have options. Adobo anyone? Karekare? o_O

An even longer week -- Nothings changed

2005-01-31T05:32:00.000+08:00

I'm just glad January's done.

Nothing god happened this month. A lot of crap and a load of the same old dump that I've previously had since last year. Except for the occasional trips home. Nothing exciting happened. Well, If you consider almost getting killed exciting, then that's the only thing exciting that happened for the month.

It was just an even longer week. Well, too long weeks since my last post. Never thought I'd be saying the same thing.

Let's just hope next month's a lot better than this one.

A long week. -- Really long

2005-01-26T03:31:00.001+08:00

Wtf?!! how long have i been gone? o_O My last post was Jan. 14. Hmm... has been that long? o_O I think not.

Okay so lets do a rundown of the last few weeks.

The last 2 weeks wasn't so bad afterall. Well the occasional stress and tension did kick in. But would that stpo you dear Tuna Caserole? Well... here the answer, NO! XD

Still I don't feel like its 2005. Believe me. I've had better years than this one. I winder if there'd be any change as the days progress. =_= Its the same old crap everyday. Dont you just grow tired of the same old things? Hmm... maybe I should get one of those... whachamacallit? o_O Hmm... stres releivers would be nice. How 'bout those thingeys on the shopping network? o_O Crap that's the only thing I see in the TV today. Everything just a dial away. Hmm... doesn't make sense huh? I'll elaborate. We are now living in the supposed "push button" era. Which apparently is not true. Were still living in the "no work, no pay" world that we have always been in. A spoiler that i can add is, its all about crap.

Nothing changed that's why I didn't post for the last few weeks. Everything seemed like an everyday routine habit. And do we see ourselves doing these things? I do. =_= No change. 2005? Nah... Its still the same. No improvements yet.

Spam. Not the food. It means trash. And this is what its all about.

I'm a genious I tell you!!! ^_^

2005-01-14T05:04:00.000+08:00

See the short message board? I just slapped that on today. And boy is it a good one. XD

This is really nothing. I just wanna brag about it. Since nothing happened bad in the last few days. Or weeks if I may add. ^o^

Hmm... What to do this week? What to plan? What to get? What to be?

Hmm... Its gonna be a long week. Or is it?

In the mean time, feel free to use the message board. That's what its there for anyway. =þ

Wahahaha!!! XD

2005-01-07T03:20:00.000+08:00

Okay so losing the pair I wanted was a bad thing. But getting a better pair for less is even better. Or did I say that right? o_O

Oh well I just fee happy to get a new pair of sneakers. At last a pair I can trash for everyday adventures. XD

Hmm... what else can I put here? Nothing I think. o_O This is just a brag post. :þ

Haven't updated this blog yet. I wanted to but I dont have the time. I got a tag-board code now. I wonder how to insert the dang thing. o_O

Oh well... Let's just cut this dang thing short. Nothing bad happened today. I haven't done anything stupid for today either.

Its a good day to have fun.

I know a bad day when I see one.

2005-01-04T03:22:00.004+08:00

And I really do. >_<

Well, it started a few days ago when I was out with some friends to look for gifts this comming holidays. Well, most of us would expect to find what we're looking for but we didn't. Ask me why and I'll tell you. *evil grin* (nudge nudge, wink wink ^_~') Here's a clue, what do you get when you put four(4) idiots together? Answer: Absolute chaos. \o/ weee~~ Well, we really had fun but still the fact that I didn't get to buy the shoes made me a *ahem "little?" p###ed.

Day 1

You saw the shoes but didn't bring the money to buy it. You then tell the sales attendandt that you'd probably get back after a day or two. When you got back the next day, the only pair available doesn't fit you. You then look for the same model or another model elsewhere. But the closest thing to what you want was still in that store. But when you got back after a few minutes, even the pair that doesn't fit you was sold. And you didn't even get to ask the model of the shoe. Stupid ain't it? >_<

Day 2

You looked for other shoes in other malls. But you only got exhausted and still didn't find a shoe that'd match your taste. You find another shoe, the one that you've been looking for a few months ago. How the heck did you miss that shop from a feqw monthe ago. But you didn't buy it because you didn't have enough money with you. The next day, you went straight to that shop and asked an attendant for the shoe that has gone missing at this time. She tells you that "it" was sold out. Well?... any comments? >_<

Arrrrrrgghhhhh!!!! >_<

Really tough huh? WELL YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN!!!! >_<

New year? o_O As in... now? o_O

2005-01-02T03:23:00.000+08:00

Okay, so its already 2005. What's the big deal? It's not like we're nearing the "end of the world" right?

Well, I just hope this year isn't full of crap just like the rest of the years that I've gone through.

The last one was really awful. Imagine losing your sense of taste during christmas and not being able to eat slid grub? Imagine the food, all those cholesterol, all those grease, all those fat, waiting to slide down you mouth for midnight to bring on. (okay so the description may be a little too disturbing ^x^) Well if losing your sense of taste and not being able to swallow your food isn't bad enough, end your year with a very painful dose of dry cough. T_T I tell you, you'll regret you ever did so during the holidays.

At least that was over. Or is it? o_O

A rundown of 2004 -- The year that was...

2004-12-31T23:22:00.001+08:00

2004, hmm... what can I say about this year? A lot I think. In this year, I did a lot of things. Not to mention a lot of insane antics.

To sum it all up, 2004 is one heck of a year for me. A lot of tension, a lot of stress, a lot of fun, a lot of development, and a lot more left undone.

The year started slow. A lot of work to continue from the job I was currently in. There was a lot of travelling, a lot of talking, a lot of *eherm* "manholes" to get into and a lot more paper work to finish in the office. It was all a clockwork routine from day to day. And so, the stress. I wonder when the same thing will happen again? o_O

Then there was the time I applied for another job and got turned down. Well, its not much to bring up anyway so let's leave it as it is. Despite the fact that I'm still wondering why the heck I got turned down for just missing half an inch from their height requirement. o_O Life sucks i know. Well for most of us it does a little.

There are also a lot of occations duting this year. And some of them I *cough* forgot to remember. =_= And unfortunately, I forgot some of them.

During the last quarter of the year, I had to move out of my old boarding house. I believe I did this twice for the year. And I ended up living in another friends pad. Well better than not living elsewhere right? Honestly, I'd prefer living there that taking a few months with my mother's relatives here.

I got a new job after graduation and did a lot of... hmmm... "new?" things. o_O Well I really did a lot. Or did I?

And another thing, this year is full of crap. Like the last one. The only difference is that I didn't get all the crap that I got unlike the last year. Not only that, I forgot most of the things that happened for this year.

And what do I expect in this comming year? Well this question is to be left for the end of the year. Another rundown in the making.

New year is just around the corner.