5.20.2006

Thoughts of Inconsistency -- The only May entry(?)

Now playing: Straight-jacket Feeling - The All-American Rejects

A feeling of inconsistency... Troubling... Just when you think you're good as you are you got those "What if?" thoughts comming in.

I really think I shouldn't write about these things but a few hints would probably ease my mind. Its just that sometimes, you get to think that "some things are better left unspoken". Unsaid, untouched, not to be discussed. It'll only make you confused. Or crazy if it gets a lot worse.

Its just that I'm feeling those "What if?" thoughts comming in more frequently than those "This is what I should do" thoughts. Thoughts like

"What if I said something like blah blah blah, just to clear up things?"

"What if I tell blah blah blah about blah blah blah? I just need an outlet."

But then again, doing so, I might hurt some people again. I might give the wrong impression out. Or they'd get the wrong impressions out of what I'm trying to say. I don't want to hurt them anymore. I don't want to go around in circles looking for the right time and words to say.

I guess I'm just looking for a proper closure. To deal with all this. Or end all this. Which ever's which.

I wish I could just say "I quit" then press "Reset" and re-do everything. That would be nice.

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