In memory of the most special woman in my life -- May she rest in peace

Let this post be my last post for the year. Specially dedicated to my mom.

To the most special woman in my life...

From birth, you have been the very light that guided me. The very walls that surrounded me. In each and everyday, you watch over me. Until the day that I was capable of deciding for myself, you never failed to check up on me.

I know I've never been a very good son, but still you were there for me. I know I've never listened that much but still you kept on telling me what is right and what is not. I know I've never said how much I loved being with you and how much I enjoyed spending time with you.

I'll miss the days we've been spending on those "ukay-ukays" just tiring oursleves scavenging through their goods and not buying anything. I'll miss the days when we window shop on malls and just wish we had some spare cash to buy something for ourselves. I'll miss the days when we talk about nothing but cooking since we both love eating and making dishes. I'll miss the times when you pick on me for not singing to your videoke collections. I'll miss the times when you pick on my sketches and always pointed out that there's this wrong outline on it. I'll miss the times when I played the guitar for you during days when we had nothing to do. I'll miss the times when you order me to roast flour for another set of "polvoron" sweets you keep on making and giving out to everyone. I'll miss the home made peanut butter and the mazapan sweets you make for us whenever you feel like making them. I'll miss our road trips to your relatives and friends coz I'm the only one you can drag out from the house. I'll miss the vanity, the annoying and cute things you do to yourself and kept on bugging me if it looked good on you coz you think I give the most honest opinions. I'll miss the stories you tell about your youth, about the time you met dad, about how we, your kids were so different and so alike. I'll miss those childhood stories about me that you enjoy telling my friends whenever some of them comes over. In that way they'd know I'm such a momma's boy that always grovelled for your reach since I was a kid. Which you loved to tell anyway because we all know everyone enjoys a good laugh once in a while. And most of all, I'll miss you the most.

I'm sorry I didn't get to listen that much to everything you said. I'm sorry I didn't get to tell you everything about me. I'm sorry we never got to go out for the last time. I'm sorry I was afraid you'd be mad at me for doing all the things I've done. I'm sorry I didn't get to spend that much time with you. I'm sorry I didn't get to show you how much I cared. I'm sorry I never said I loved you that much. I'm sorry that I wasn't beside you when you took your last breath.

Thought it pains to lose a family member. You were the one who told me not to think about your situation. "Life must go on" as you said, and for you, we will move on. We just hope you know how much we'll be missing you. How much we love you.

And now that you have gone to a better place, I just wanna say, you're the best mom any kid could have.

In memory of the most special woman in my life.

You will always be remembered. I love you mom.

Elizabeth Ilagan y Carmelotes
Born: 5th June, 1959
Passed away: 20th December, 2005