Holding grounds -- The turning of the pages

They say... all things have their ends. And so shall a page turn. For when it turns, it will mark the beginning of a new chapter. And for one who was so soul burdened for all his eternity, there is no absolute bliss that can compare to when he takes back and holds control over his destiny...

The past year has been very hard. Too hard that I lost sense to where I was supposed to go... What I was supposed to do. And so I decided to be the one on top of my life for this year. For months, I have been contemplating, reflecting, and looking back at all the things I might have done. A day did not pass that I never took the time to keep silent for a few minutes, and think. And it was tiring. Exhausing even. It almost came to a point that my body could not cope up with the pressure that my mind has been keeping. Resulting in sleepless nights... meal-less days... and fatigue that almost sent me bed ridden. I'd have to be thankful that though I was under pressure, my body can still sustain itself beyond abnormal conditions. Call it miraculous if we must. And the feeling of fulfillment is something you can never buy. The content and satisfaction of being able to regain the will to defy what is being set for you is something I can never describe verbally.

Piece of mind. After months of thinking, I finaly got what I deserved. My own piece of mind. Though it is not fully given to me. It satisfies me to have been able to live through the past harshness reality has been serving me. For once, I made it a point that I will be the one controling the situation. Not the situation controling me. Though its not that finished, I know that I will not be just following what other people dictates.

And so here it starts, I have decided to take matters to my own control. My doubts about my besfriend are now gone. All it took was a short straight talk. And it was good. I have cut the ties that binds me with my recent girlfriend. I knew I should've done it a long time ago to have not hurt her more in the process. But what's done is done. You cannot correct a mistake with another mistake. I will not run away from responsibility. It may now lie to what the last talk with her folks, but I have made up my mind. I'm now basically holding my grounds. To have said what I wanted to say, to have done what should have been done before... Satisfying.

And as the next days pass, I will be the one to control my destiny. I will be holding my grounds. I will not fall back. Falling back is not an option. Moving forward is the only thing that's important.

The pages have been turned...

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