Its been a year -- ...

Now Playing: (none)

Its been a year already...

since this day...

Be my Penguin? -- Just a short update

Now Playing: (my winamp just died because of the power failure)

I've always wondered where these cute little clips comes from. Can anyone send me the where this can be found?

*click the image to see it better

So... be my penguin? =3

I feel soooooooooooo crappy =..= -- And here's another blog quiz

Now Playing: Why am I always on YouTube

Jason Mraz - Sleep all day

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Spare Time: An update after so long -- This entry is not 56kbps friendly

Now Playing: (I'm on YouTube so check the videos)

Last entry was October 19?! What happend? o_O

Well actually a lot of things happened. So much things that I didn't have the time to update this blog. Well... at last... here's an update.

First on the line, I'd like to rant. Why? Because for some reason, my tagboard here was all screwed up. Screwed up in a sense that everytime I check this blog, the damn pop up always well... "pops up"! I mean... WTF is up with that?! =..= Its the same reason why I haven't made any effort to update. Well... on the contrary... this IS an effort of updating. =..=

Anyway, I hope I wasn't the one who had his tagboard screwed up like that. Now as everone can see... I've taken the damn thing out from the sidebar. And lets hope the damn pop up doesn't "pop up" again.

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Just a short update -- No time to blog as of now

Now playing: (noting here)

A friend of mine in the office once showed me this same drumline clip. But when I wanted to post it on my blog, I couldn't find the darn thing. But anyway I found it and now its here for anyone to view.

Consider this a short update. I've had no time to blog in the mean time and I think the whole tagboard's messed up. I will update when I get the time.

I have nothing good to do today -- Here's some quiz results

Now playing: One last Breath - Creed

Sometimes I just have nothing better to do.

Other than work, I sometimes browse and post on forums. Sometimes sulk in YouTube watch a few videos, read other people's blogs (yes the ones on the Buffet Table) or sometimes just do Blog Quizes. Some I do because of the results other people gets, some I do out of curiousity.

These ones I did out of someone's result.

The results came from this quiz:

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Apathy -- Freedom from emotion

Now playing: Helena - My Chemical Romance

What feeling do you represent?

You represent... apathy.
You don't really show any emotion. You can be considered
cruel and cold, but you just don't really care about anything.
This is just the way you are... you're quite a challenge
to get close to, and others may perceive you as boring.

Take this quiz!

Its funny how sometimes online quizzes and trivials gets to tell what you are or what you feel near to perfect. Though, I'd like to describe myself to be a bit more stioc than apathetic. But I guess this works for me.

Don't you just wish you can pause time? -- Or press rewind? =.=

Now playing: Linger (Acoustic) - The Cranberries

Have you ever wished you could at least control time once or just for some certain situations? Get a chance to pause it or something? Just now... I do.

Actually... I've just seen the movie CLICK which stars Adam Sandler the other day. No it has nothing to do with me hating some things in life. Just with some situations. Like on some occasions when I said somethings bad, did some things wrong, or made bad choices.

Funny thing though, the remote control in CLICK can only show you things from your memory and not change them. It can fast forward you to your future but you have no control on the things happenning. Its not a time machine. You'll just later regret things you've done or said after seeing them in play-back. And just like that... it'll just hit you hard that you can't do anything after pressing that 'play-back' button.

If I had a chance to go back from that time... I would change some things. Like saying 'hello =]'. But I can't.

I'm sorry. I really am.

Back to basics -- What to expect living a normal life

Now playing: Just Feel Better - Santana feat. Steven Tyler of Aerosmith

Tomorrow, I officially go back to living as a normal human... err... entity. (Sorry I haven't considered myself human from the way I've been behaving for the last few months.) Mostly I've been an ass and have been driving people away for no apparent reason. Let's just say I was in that "FSCK OFF!!!" moods that I usually get into.

Back on topic. What's there to expect? Going back to being a day-crawler (Yep, the type of entity who crawls rather than walk through the day. And I'd rather crawl off my bed than walk away from it.) I'm a bit skeptic at going back to "normal" living. I feel that there's a lot of things to catch up to. News, socializing, poverty, the day-to-day rantings of incompetent citizens that I will be encountering, politics... this should be interesting.

I'm a bit of blank today. So much things to think of. So much things to plan for. I'll prolly make a list of what I should do for the next few days. If I get lucky, I might finally get that credit card I've been applying for. All for the sake of fulfilling the need to buy the *cough*updates*cough* of a certain MMO. >:D

Gawd I need to do a lot of things for this month's 2nd half... And I have to do it alone... =.=

A normal life? A simple life? Maybe not. They've just given me the thing they'll regret the most... letting me live during the daytime. >:D

Time to wreack some havoc... And that's going back to basics. >:D

Buying social skills (I'm dead serious) -- 1337 gaming skills useless in iRL

Now playing: Hana - Orange Range

I was dumbfounded after seeing a midget get personal specifics from this hot nursing student while I was inside one of those local internet gaming hubs. The midget ushered the young lady to one of those pc units in that shop. He introduced himself and politely asked the young lady if he can have her name and mobile number if it wasn't too much. Guess what he got? The girl's full name (name and last name included), the girl's mobile phone number, and her email address for friendster!!

So I changed my status message on my YM saying "Buying social skills, PM offers". A friend of mine whom loves playing MMOs and RPGs obliged to play along with the status. Here 's our conversation:

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I'll just try to be happy. Afterall... this is my day. =]

Now playing: 3 Libras - A Perfect Circle

If only everyone would know what I'm thinking right now.

It never occured to me that I would feel like this on this particular day. Strange. I already told myself I'd be calm, happy and not irate for this day. Well... guess having to feel this way's better than being bubbly and still be able to scare the living daylights out of everyone.

Komakai koto ha ki ni suru na.

A japanese phrase which I found while surfing the net for web comics. It means "Don't worry about the little things". But then again, sometimes its those little things that really bothers you a lot.

I might have put up that strong-unfaltering-asshole image for myself for everyone to see. Still, one can only take so much.

Having been accused of something you have not done drew the last line. Still you try to be civil, and answer to it on a professional level.

And it made me think for a second there. If only I had that ammount they're allegedly imposing that was bribed to me. Then maybe I would've changed somethings in my life.

What things? These things:

1. I would've been already married to the mother of my child.
   
2. My kid would've already been baptized.
   
3. We would've moved back to my wife's home town and live somewhere there. I'd just go home to my relatives' residence in Manila or to my friend's house in Marikina during my work week and go home to the province during my rest days.
   
4. Lastly, I would've been able to keep my mother alive.

I wanted to scream. Hide in one of the corners of our office and just cry. But then, I know I shouldn't.

I'll just try to be happy. Afterall... this is my day. =]

Komakai koto ha ki ni suru na...

Sick, beat and wasted, but still satisfied -- What a way to start July

Now playing: Disease (Acoustic) - Matchbox 20

Its a wonder what some idiots can do for you while you lie helpless in bed. I happen to have 1 for my younger brother and 2 more for a pair of cousins. They happen to be claiming as the "Tatlong Itlog" (three eggs) group in our little room that we stay in within my grandma's recidence.

Well... It's like this, I was sick of fever (or was it flu), that I barely got the strength to move myself from the bed I'm resting on. I was beaming up the heat stick to a very comfortable 39.1°C to an even more comforting 40.8°C. How I got that? lets just say I was dumb enough to follow my bad little habbit of flushing out fever by taking a shower. So I ended up curled under the sheets for a miserable day. Thinking I was better after that day, I went to work and ended up sick after the shift so spent another few hours feverish during the next morning. Someone really messed up on sending me that friggin flu as a joke. I almost thought of asking to be sent to the hospital because I barely got to breathe properly while I was sick in bed.

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Just a short something for June -- It's good to remember

Now playing:

This one's for you. Coz I know how you like 'ol pops playing the guitar for you. Same as you like me playing a little tune of my own. =]

Tommy Emmanuel - Angelina

Happy birthday mom. We miss you. We hope you're okay. If you could only see us now...

We still love you. =]

Thoughts of Inconsistency -- The only May entry(?)

Now playing: Straight-jacket Feeling - The All-American Rejects

A feeling of inconsistency... Troubling... Just when you think you're good as you are you got those "What if?" thoughts comming in.

I really think I shouldn't write about these things but a few hints would probably ease my mind. Its just that sometimes, you get to think that "some things are better left unspoken". Unsaid, untouched, not to be discussed. It'll only make you confused. Or crazy if it gets a lot worse.

Its just that I'm feeling those "What if?" thoughts comming in more frequently than those "This is what I should do" thoughts. Thoughts like

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Another good week? -- Wash, Rinse, Repeat... And another blog quiz

Now playing: Kokomo - The Beachboys

What have I been up to? Well... the title basically says what's I've been doing. Routinary? No comment.

I think I need to lay back a while... =.=;;

Well, the past weeks, or should I say the past month, as all the other months have always been, have been relatively slow. There seems to be nothing much to do these days. Just the usual chores, office work, do's and don'ts. You'd be amazed how similar each day in my life is.

How ever, there are those times when I sit back, do nothing, stare at nothing, and think of nothing... absolute bliss? For a fraction of a second, I'd have to say yes. I kinda find it priceless just do nothing since I've been doing a lot already. Its sooooooo tiring.... =.=

Some other things I so include the following:

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Entry 37, No title -- Last entry for March

Now playing: Eye in the sky - Alan Parsons Project

Been out bumming for the month. Not that much has happened. Other than the usual 'take-care-of-the-baby' routine before work and during day offs. Its all plain wake-up, do house chores, run errands, do some more house chores, get ready for work, work, play a little, sleep in the office, wake up, go home, wash-rinse-repeat. Those sort of stuff.

Been seriously *eherm* working and trying to be patient and calm. All I can say is that March didn't feel like happening.

Niwei, listening to some oldies kinda payed off. One of my officemates had an assortment of mp3s which included the one playing right now. Made me think on some things (details will be posted some other day. I'm too bummed out to post details.)

Funny thing, this song kinda had some significant lyrics on it.

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Late entry!!! -- Gone last February

Now playing: Jaded (Acoustic Version) - Aerosmith

Very very late update!!! T_T I was away for almost a month. Well, a month and a half to be precise.

I was really busy with life. And my life just got a lot busier.

Why? Here's why:

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What D&D Character are you? -- Just another blog quiz. Nothing Special.

Now Playing: Drive - Incubus

I Just took this test out of boredom. Nothing special to it. Posted it here. I just have a lot in my mind so I took the time to take this dang test. =.=

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Open thoughts -- Missing the girl staring at the moon

Now Playing: I Miss You (Acoustic) - Incubus

I'm just wondering... What next?

Its been days since I messed up my last talk with this girl whom I've grown to like. Actually, 'grown to like' is an understatement. Right now, she's very special to me. But just because I was stupid enough to say something I shouldn't have, it resulted to her actually avoiding contact with me.

How long has it been? 2? 3? 4 days since we last talked? I just hope we can talk. Just for once, or one last time.

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Baka baka baka baka!!! -- You stupid stupid fish!!!

Now Paying: Nasan Ka - Pupil

And yes I am. Can somebody just shoot me dead now? Shin sou?!

What kind of an idiot tries to compare the girl he's falling for with his ex? Uhm... Someone named Tuna Caserole or thinks he's Tuna Caserole?

I don't know what got into me, how stupid was I to have ever asked her to take her head band off so I could tell if she does look like my ex. Uhm... maybe I shouldn't have done such a thing.

Note to self:

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February -- What to expect this month? Good turn out? Unfamiliarity? What?

Now Playing: Each Day With You - Nyoy Volante & Mannos

Its already February... What should I expect on this month? o_O

To start off, Feb's a good month. Aside from Valentine being just around the corner, its a quiet month. For me it is. No hassles what so ever. Though there were bumps before January ended, February had this kind of calm breeze. Calm... makes me wonder, will this be a good month?

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Fire in the hole!!! -- The best and worst day for this week

Now Playing: I miss you - Blink 182

Well, to sum it all up, a lot of things could happen in a day. Sometimes it starts good, then ends bad. And sometimes, it starts bad, and ends good. In my case... It was bad, to good, to bad, to good. Thank god the day's ended.

It started with me going home from work. Of course, I should've been home around 1AM after shift. But it was so hard to get home from the office somewhere in Makati to where I currently stay in Parañaque. Thing is, I just sleep in the office after shifts and go home the next day. Then take a nap before going back to the office.

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On familiar grounds -- It comes to a full circle

Now playing: New Tatoo - Urbandub

And now I'm back to where I used to stand. Back on familiar grounds. It turns to a full circle.

Just when I thought everything else will change... I find myself standing back on familiar grounds... on shattered grounds. Shattered grounds... just when I thought I was already on stable grounds, I later realize that what I'm standing on had then again gave on and sunk.

There's actually two people making me feel that I am on the same grounds I used to be before. And these are their words:

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Regret(?) -- What more is there to say?

Now playing: Empty Apartment - Yellowcard

If you did what you wanted to do, and said what you wanted to say, would you be happy after all is said and done? Would you change anything if it didn't work out the way you expected it?

Ironic. When you least expect something to happen, a sudden change always takes place. And what's more ironic, is that you thought you have absolute control over yourself. Actually you do. But you're trying to fight temptation to do something more to worsen the situation.

We all know its never good to do things 'fast paced'. Yet that's what happened. All too fast... all too spontaneous... but then again... reality bites. And once again, it bites hard. And painful.

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Holding grounds -- The turning of the pages

They say... all things have their ends. And so shall a page turn. For when it turns, it will mark the beginning of a new chapter. And for one who was so soul burdened for all his eternity, there is no absolute bliss that can compare to when he takes back and holds control over his destiny...

The past year has been very hard. Too hard that I lost sense to where I was supposed to go... What I was supposed to do. And so I decided to be the one on top of my life for this year. For months, I have been contemplating, reflecting, and looking back at all the things I might have done. A day did not pass that I never took the time to keep silent for a few minutes, and think. And it was tiring. Exhausing even. It almost came to a point that my body could not cope up with the pressure that my mind has been keeping. Resulting in sleepless nights... meal-less days... and fatigue that almost sent me bed ridden. I'd have to be thankful that though I was under pressure, my body can still sustain itself beyond abnormal conditions. Call it miraculous if we must. And the feeling of fulfillment is something you can never buy. The content and satisfaction of being able to regain the will to defy what is being set for you is something I can never describe verbally.

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Reflecting on still waters -- A rundown of 2005

2005, probably the most influencial year for me. A lot of things happened to me during this year that I can say really changed and molded my mindset for this year.


First Quarter (January - March 2005)

There were a lot of ups and downs, crappy days and lengthy weeks and months. I almost lost my sanity coping on these weeks. As they said, "New Year... New beginnings..." and as expected, I didn't get the best of the first three months of the year. I almost lost it during these months. Too much thinking, too many things bothering me. A very disoriented first three months for the year. I was supposed to plan the year during this period, but I ended up getting planned for. I mean, I was literally pushed to my limit during these months that I almost lost grip with reality. How I wished this was the only bumpy ride for the year.

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