In memory of the most special woman in my life -- May she rest in peace

Let this post be my last post for the year. Specially dedicated to my mom.

To the most special woman in my life...

From birth, you have been the very light that guided me. The very walls that surrounded me. In each and everyday, you watch over me. Until the day that I was capable of deciding for myself, you never failed to check up on me.

I know I've never been a very good son, but still you were there for me. I know I've never listened that much but still you kept on telling me what is right and what is not. I know I've never said how much I loved being with you and how much I enjoyed spending time with you.

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Out of circulation -- A very complicated disposition in life

Hmm... If my memory serves me right... I didn't have any posts for September. O_o"

Well the reason is similar with the title of this new post. I was literally out of circulation for the past month. And I think It will stay that way a lot longer.

It started out when everyone found out about my little secret. I don't want to talk about it here. I'm leaving it undisclosed as of the moment. Yes, things like these do happen in life. So its up to you to think it over.

Back to topic. The past few weeks or should I say the past few months have been relatively complicated. I had to go through a lot of struggels both emotionaly and psychologicaly. And if that's enough, try adding a little peer and work pressure to your already cramped up lifestyle.

Believe me its a miracle I'm still sane.

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A Profitable Weekend -- Not advisable to be read by people eating infront of their PCs

Well not literally, but the last weekend was really profitable. And take my word for it... Profitable.

The day was sunday, I got home from work and wanted to do nothing but bum around and stay away from anyone's reach. To my surprise, James, my housemate decided to stay home and do the same. We had nothing left to do but stare at the picture tube of our living room TV and oogle at what our cable-less recreation system has to offer.

Then we decided to do the unthinkable. James had been pointing out that our room air conditioning unit hasn't been working properly. Well... from my point of view, it cooled the room to my satisfaction. He was sure that the evaporator had frost build ups and a good maintennance would do the thing. We agreed to pull down the unint and gove it a good bath. While we were figuring out how to pull down the dang thing, James took a scredriver and unscrewed the cover of the air-con's front pannel, revealing a damp... or should I say, a rather wet car radiator-looking evaporator. And heck did it really look like one. All black in dirt and looked like tar would pour out the dang thing. We removed all the styro-pore boards that blocked the seams of the unit from the wall before we pulled the unit down. And yes, something did pour out. Water from god know's where. >_<

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How much of a gamer are you? -- The ballance between ingame and irl

I am 57% Video Game Addict.

Video games are a big portion of my life, maybe too big of a portion. They are not a means of social interaction, despite what I might think. I should just go outside.

Take the
Video Game Addict Test
@ FualiDotCom

And yes!!! I'm still a normal person!!! I'm not yet a nerd!!!

Well... just a rundonw on what really happened on the last month. I was mostly out in the field scoping out places to with high end PCs and kickass internet connection.

And did I find one? Yup. But the only problem was the expense. Still looking for some. And more games to be played.

Having no time left to kid around really kills gametime. But, we can still say it's worth it.

IRL blog update will follow soon.

I just wish I get bored and just blog.

Standing over the edge of time -- Its another "ordinary" new year

As of 1 AM PST, I am officially... err... do I have to say my age? o_O

Well... here's an overview of the past *ehem* year.

1. Crap
2. More crap.
3. Even more crap.
4. More crap still.
5. Another load of crap.
6. A tub-load of crap.
7. An unbelievable ammount of crap.
8. When will crap end?
9. Holy crap! It's my *cough*...
10. >_<"
11. Need I say more?
12. Crap.

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It's been a month already? o_O -- I was just busy

Crap! That's all I can say. T_T

The last few *ehem* weeks or should I asy month since my last entry was soooooooooo~~~ dang long. Exhausing that it comes to a point that I can almost see myself dropping dead the next day. But I don't. And I'm glad about it. Since no one would want a dead "you" around .

And yes... I've just been REALLY REALLY busy.

Here's an image of what i've been up to lately.

(taken from the GuildWars website)

For those who visited this sad excuse for a blog... well... Let's all hope I get to update it this month. And I'll be posting what I ended up with in the last few weeks... err... month. =_=

And oh... I just remembered... I hate Mondays. >_<

About people -- Narcissists and the like (and another blog quiz)

I've never seen someone so inlove with herself. And I kinda find it cute, funny and a bit too much at some point.

I just moved in to a friends boarding house. Yey! I'm not homeless anymore! And there I met this girl who's such a sight to see. She loves taking pictures of herself, whispering *but we can hear her whisper* "I'm so beautiful... I'm so cute..." and FYI, she is! XD

I know I've had friends whom without any hesitation say and claim that they're one heck of a looker. In which they mean they're soooo dang hot!!! (cough! >_< reality check... they're not! XD) Anyway... nothing beats this last one that I met. Well she's cute and all that crap, but seeing her and hearing her admire herself didn't sound like some people that I know... well... she did sound full of herself but no one seemed to mind that much. ;p maybe because she is what she is. Just from my point of view. Seeing someone like her admire herself in such a way kinda relieved me some stress... entertaining. XD

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In a Limbo -- Dante's Inferno Hell Test

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Moderate
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Moderate
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Reaction:
In a Limbo. Maybe the fact that I'm going through a lot made me wallow so soundly in such a float. "There is no punishment here, the atmosphere here is peaceful, yet sad", and yes... it is so true.

Waiting for rain to pour -- Another one for the grill

Lately... I haven't been myself. And it really sucks to know the fact that you are aware of it. Funny, I've always told myself that I won't regret anything I brought myself to do.

And I thought everything was going on so well. We agreed not to take matters out of hand. We were both reasonable when we ended it. But then again... I think I am not aware of my own actions.

Maybe I just can't resign to the fact that we just ended it. We still see eachother once or twice a month. We still talk, hang out, do all the things that we usually do. But I know I've been cold even before we gave up on everything we had.

But how would you react when you've found something between you're ex and someone... or in another instance... with some people? And learning these fact made you even think less of the possibilities of you and her getting back together.

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Blog Quizzes?

Take the quiz at dicepool.com

No use trying to fight it, you're an eight-sided die, a d8. A fine example of simple elegance, the d8 is one of the least appreciated types of dice, and is often neglected. You are known to be quiet and shy, outward traits that conceal viscous sarcasm and mean wit. You are very smart, yet wise enough to hide your intelligence the quicker they found out how smart you are, the sooner they'll put you to work, which is something you can do without. People call you dark and pessimistic, or moody and cynical. You find little point in arguing.

I don't think this is right. Maybe it depends on the mood.

Which Night Elf Hero Are You?

But what ever I do with this one... it always end up with the same answer.

Correct me if 'm wrong, but I really think the time and the state of mind that you have on taking a quiz like this determines the result. Anyway, it was still stress releiving.

Mistakes -- Live and Learn

"Yes, make your "mistakes" early. ...and LEARN from them. So many people think they're better just because they went through it. Live AND learn.

Never forget the lessons.

It's not a guarantee that it'll never happen again, but it'll be a form of training to be able to handle the situation when it arises again." -- Joe Gamer

Mistakes are there for a reason. For you to repeat them. Get me? Wash, rinse and repeat. And for some reasons. I'm thinking that making a mistake is the only "right" thing to do.

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Silence -- Very uneasy

When you come to this state... Are you sane?

Uneasy. A feeling I usually get when I'm not in the mood to communicate. Well, to me that is. I wonder if its the same to others.

It was just one of those days that you think everything started out so well. You feel refreshed the minute you wake up. You feel the urge to do anything and everything for the day. But then again, something just comes in which alters all moods that have been preset for the entire day.

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Losing grip, losing control -- Your sanity in question

If there's anything someone would hate that much, that'd be to be the state of not being stable. In this case, not being able to control your own line of direction.

Oh yesh... *sarcasm =_="

As I lay still in my ever so stirred up murky watered fish tank, I realize somethings, there are just some times when you think you're losing grip. And yes, it sucks to know that you have no control over your sad excuse for your own life.

Oh I just remembered, I haven't vented out on some issues happening to my blasted life. >_< "Your SANITY is in question".

And for who knows how long all this crap will last you? 10 lifetimes? 20 even. And what the heck can you do about it?

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Unwound and unbound -- Trip to memory lane

Nostalgia... That sweet poison everyone seems to drink every once in a while.

And I had my fill. XD

I never new staying at home on a weekday can be so stress releiving. All i did was slouch on a sofa, have a few bags of chips beside me, hold the TV remote control, and mindlessly surf along the channels. And guess what I ended up with? Two full hours of clay animated cartoons and a few episodes of "Care Bares". XD

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In comes in one side, out goes on the other

My last blog update was when? o_O

I've been trying to squeeze time to get back here and collect my thoughts. I landed a bit late I think.

Having been through a lot of deep sh*tty situations, I finally land back and think of what I've been doing for the past couple of weeks. I've been abusing my self to a point that I almost dropped dead on a curb. Having been deprived of proper sleep and rest, I resort to a few things where I gained a lot of very well said comments from friends.

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Six sides, six colors, nine pannels a side

The Rubik's Cube.

Despite the fact that I'm wallowing in my stirred up murky watered fish tank, trying to wash my thoughts out (which is a fact that I am mot enjoying =_=), I'm still troubled by my previous actions. Which resulted to me picking up this contraption called the Rubik's Cube.

Six sides, six colors, nine pannels a side. Turn each and every side, flip, rotate, switch and swatch the colors. But did you ever wonder? Why you could fix it or why you can't? The thing is, it has a pattern. It has this thing that you should follow. I'm not going to refer to it as a rule. Rather, let's call it a method. A type of counting and manner of how you hold it.

Odd? Its what I've been lacking. My grasp of things hasn't been that firm. Even my methods are a bit astray. It's just not working for me. And I have no idea why I'm being so unstable. And I haven't been myself lately. Insane? Nope. Just deranged. Too much to think about. Too many to consider.

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Tell the truth -- Face the consequences

You'll either make it better or make it worse.

When you're asked a simple question, you sometimes give a complex answer. Sometimes you even lead them to falcity. Most of the times you resort to silence, and not telling.

We know that telling the truth will do good. We know that it will help benefit a cause. But sometimes the truth just isn't the right thing to say. The truth hurts those we care for. When we least expect it to hurt them. The more it hurts them. And the more we realize that we shouldn't have said anything. We shouldn't have said the truth.

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Cramming -- We do it everytime

Go, young grasshopper, Try out your wings!

"You already left your comfort zone, to what end? It's like leaving home for a journey. You leave behind the safety and security of your abode, but in exchange, you can live out new experiences and meet new people.You've already walked out the door. Don't waste time standing in front of your porch. Do something. You already made the first step of your journey, the first step outside your 'home'. Now, what are you going to do? Wait, don't answer yet. Think. Think... while I sleep... ^_^" -- Joe Gamer

Well, he said everything all right. =_= The only thing left to do now is whether to take the trip, try out the wings and see a whole new world, or stay at home and slouch in that comforting beanie bag.

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Adobo or Karekare? -- When you think twice

More options, more problems. This is what happens when you don't act like yourself.

I've never had conversations that lasted for days. In this case, it lasted for a few weeks. I talked to a lot of people and heard a lot of things. It included the analogy above. Funny, I never saw it that way. It might not make sense but if you ask me. It gave me a clear view on how to think straight. Well, how to think straight again, at the least.

Okay, so the past few days were so damn long, tiring, and slow. maybe that's the reason I felt low at some point. Low, in a sense that I want to take time off from everything. Time to think back and review what I've been doing for the past year. I know I should've done this before this year started. But it was just now that it hit me. Am I doing things because I really want to do them?

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An even longer week -- Nothings changed

I'm just glad January's done.

Nothing god happened this month. A lot of crap and a load of the same old dump that I've previously had since last year. Except for the occasional trips home. Nothing exciting happened. Well, If you consider almost getting killed exciting, then that's the only thing exciting that happened for the month.

It was just an even longer week. Well, too long weeks since my last post. Never thought I'd be saying the same thing.

Let's just hope next month's a lot better than this one.

A long week. -- Really long

Wtf?!! how long have i been gone? o_O My last post was Jan. 14. Hmm... has been that long? o_O I think not.

Okay so lets do a rundown of the last few weeks.

The last 2 weeks wasn't so bad afterall. Well the occasional stress and tension did kick in. But would that stpo you dear Tuna Caserole? Well... here the answer, NO! XD

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I'm a genious I tell you!!! ^_^

See the short message board? I just slapped that on today. And boy is it a good one. XD

This is really nothing. I just wanna brag about it. Since nothing happened bad in the last few days. Or weeks if I may add. ^o^

Hmm... What to do this week? What to plan? What to get? What to be?

Hmm... Its gonna be a long week. Or is it?

In the mean time, feel free to use the message board. That's what its there for anyway. =þ

Wahahaha!!! XD

Okay so losing the pair I wanted was a bad thing. But getting a better pair for less is even better. Or did I say that right? o_O

Oh well I just fee happy to get a new pair of sneakers. At last a pair I can trash for everyday adventures. XD

Hmm... what else can I put here? Nothing I think. o_O This is just a brag post. :þ

Haven't updated this blog yet. I wanted to but I dont have the time. I got a tag-board code now. I wonder how to insert the dang thing. o_O

Oh well... Let's just cut this dang thing short. Nothing bad happened today. I haven't done anything stupid for today either.

Its a good day to have fun.

I know a bad day when I see one.

And I really do. >_<

Well, it started a few days ago when I was out with some friends to look for gifts this comming holidays. Well, most of us would expect to find what we're looking for but we didn't. Ask me why and I'll tell you. *evil grin* (nudge nudge, wink wink ^_~') Here's a clue, what do you get when you put four(4) idiots together? Answer: Absolute chaos. \o/ weee~~ Well, we really had fun but still the fact that I didn't get to buy the shoes made me a *ahem "little?" p###ed.

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New year? o_O As in... now? o_O

Okay, so its already 2005. What's the big deal? It's not like we're nearing the "end of the world" right?

Well, I just hope this year isn't full of crap just like the rest of the years that I've gone through.

The last one was really awful. Imagine losing your sense of taste during christmas and not being able to eat slid grub? Imagine the food, all those cholesterol, all those grease, all those fat, waiting to slide down you mouth for midnight to bring on. (okay so the description may be a little too disturbing ^x^) Well if losing your sense of taste and not being able to swallow your food isn't bad enough, end your year with a very painful dose of dry cough. T_T I tell you, you'll regret you ever did so during the holidays.

At least that was over. Or is it? o_O